SO YOU'RE A MAN EATER? PERFECT!

The one I had totally turned off just the night before came walking into the party with a saucy smile, and her dark and lovely locks falling across her face just enough to cover up just one of those sparkling baby blues. A smile, a wink and a nod.

Yes, it's me. Yes, I was totally under the spell of golden hops and that damn rye that always gives me those old red eyes.  Yes, I am a total douche bag. Anywho, it's nice to see you…

You know sometimes I act the fool. Well possibly a little more than sometimes, but for this story, I'll just say sometimes. I am truly sorry for partying this time. For she was really cute, a lot of fun, and has that lovely southern drawl.

I think I may have recovered. It's stretch, but I think I may just have been able to pull it off. Only time will tell, and only she will let me know. So all I have to say is this.

If you are what you say you are, then go on and use me up.

Hey there!

Hey you, yeah it's me. :) Nice to see you! How have you been? It's been awhile. What's new with you? You know I have been thinking about you a lot. I miss you girl. Have you been reading this? Your ears were probably burning. Cause look, it's ALL about you. Well, there's some nonsense about her. But baby, you know, she don't love me like you. You know this is all, well mostly, for you. You have been on my mind for quite some time. Can you feel it? Do you feel it? You must know how I am feeling. Babe, you've got me reeling. Keep believing, it's all happening, now. <3

WHO KNOWS ANYTHING FOR SURE? NO ONE THAT'S WHO>

Admittedly, I am a dreamer. I might be looking so hard that I have convoluted the very essence of my emotions. The promise is there. The hope is right around the corner. This titillates and scares the ever loving shit out of me. I mean, maybe she will be so fun, cool, and smart that I can't help it. However, she might be too young, too dumb, and just another someone.

Whatever.

The only thing I know that I can do is to try. Show up, speak my mind, and listen to her. So try I shall. I think she's cute, she seems rather chill, which is good. Of course no one will believe me when I say this to them for I have said it all before. Yes I know, but what else I am to do? I may not know who she is, but then again, neither do you…

So for you, my friends, I will not put too much faith in it. I won't write ridiculous and fanciful things about her. I won't call and tell you that we're in love. In fact, I won't say a word about it. It's just drinks. That's all. Where it goes, nobody knows. The only rule is this. Wherever it goes, this is where it begins.

THE FALSE SYNAPSE REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD, ONCE AGAIN.

Chocolate. Chocolate is that thing that gives you the feeling that it just might work this time. I mean, she came after you. She said all the right things. She's a looker. So this white chocolate hooker, I mean, well whatever. She swooped in, played with my emotions, then went fucking bananas. She was probably already bananas, I was just too blinded by the light to recognize it. 

I want this shit to stop. I don't want to be blinded. I want my eyes to be wide open. I don't want to keep hoping. I want to keep living. I am no longer looking. It's futile, exhausting, and rather lame. 

TOO HOT
It was, it is. That's the only thing that keeps me wondering why. Why, do you ask? I just wonder from time to time.

I'M NOT HERE.

I have left this far behind. I'm off on the adventure of a lifetime. I cannot tell you to where, but let's just say, I'm lost. Wherever I am, undoubtedly, I am lost. I cannot find my way. The path is not illuminated and the stars are not coming out from their hiding places in the galaxy.  The way is dark, and there are sharp things all around. I can feel them. I see hear their menacing glares with every breath. I want to quit. I want to give in their quick wits and razor sharp tendrils. There is no way that I will ever find her. She's lost. If I'm lost and she's lost, it would seem that luck might play a part and bring us together. The two unlucky souls that find each other lost in their darkness. They will find something beautiful and new in this wicked little game. 

Debatable.

I think it must be more like just endlessly searching for that one thing that would make all things better. I guess everyone is searching for that one thing. Whatever it is. For me it's her. For you who knows, but for me, it's her. 

Stop looking.

How do I do that exactly. What does that mean? How can I not search their eyes for traces of what I am dreaming of? I have tried, believe me. It's just not one of those things that comes very easy to me. I am a little glimmer of hope sitting in the corner of your local bar. On your smartphone? Turn around I'm sitting right behind you. You don't.  You won't. See, you just got up and left…

SHIT IS FUNNY

I MEAN, why, why does this always seem to happen? It's not here. Then it's here everywhere. And suddenly you're in love with everything. Well I am not, but I cannot disregard the stars. They sometimes seem to hold that familiar glow. That sparkle that just makes me be that guy I know that I am. So she's 21, or maybe she's that lost soul I met at the soiree this evening. What is the movie cliche I should follow here? You don't know, and neither do I. But one thing is for sure. I know what I want. I want her to break all the rules. So, I see you, I'll I wanna do is see you.
However, that's where I usually kill this.

Colour my life with the chaos of trouble, cause anything's better than posh isolation. 

I'm just sayin, it could be worse. It can always be better. But maybe that's what this is all about. Who knows anyhow? I haven't seen that spark in the dark in a bit, but tonight it was there. I'm thinking about what Sara said.

What do you make of the cool set in London?

THE GROUP OF GHOSTS-GRUPO FANTASMA

There is no way you can see this band live  and not feel it in your bones, that rattle in your soul, and that overwhelmed feel of joy that only live music can bring.  Almost from the first notes that come bouncing from the stage your toes start tapping. It moves up til your knees start twitching and your hips are swaying to the beats of this 11 piece latin funk orchestra from Austin, TX. Fresh off their summer tour which began with their first grammy win for best latin rock or alternative album, for 2010's "El Existential" the boys have never sounded better.

You may think you have heard latin dance music before, but if you haven't heard or better yet, seen Grupo Fantasma live, then you are missing some of the best dance music in the world!  These boys will get your heart pounding, and your whole body surging to the infectious grooves of the ghosts.

This is not your abuela's latin dance party.

The band blends styles from funk, reggae, rock, and of course a hot, spicy, nasty salsa style that will surely set your senses on fire. Even for a non spanish speaker like me, it's a fantastic show. For what you can't understand from not knowing the words,  the music makes you all but forget that you don't know espanol fluently. If you're still hesitant, just wait. After a little water break at the show, it was hot and I was sweaty I returned to my dance team while the band was on a short break. When they begin to play,  something is strangely familiar. I know this song, I mean it sounds a little different, but I know it. What is it?  Oh it's plaguing me, then here comes the chorus, "Burning Down the House!" I knew it! Well sort of anyhow. I hadn't recognized it to this point for they were singing all the lyrics in spanish, except when they got to the chorus which they triumphantly shouted in english.

If you like what you hear and would like a little more funk in your disco, then be sure to check out Brownout, Grupo's psychedelic hydra that features eight members from the band.

Formed in 2000 from the merger of two Austin acts, The Blue Noise Band and The Blimp, the band emerged with a sold out show at the former Empanada Parlour in Austin. The band is best known for their exuberant live shows and their recent association with Prince and his 3121 Club in Las Vegas. The band has backed Prince on numerous occasions, including his performance on the ALMA Awards in 2007, and often perform at his afterparty jam sessions. The ensemble has sold more than 20,000 albums independently.

Grupo Fantasma has twice played the Austin City Limits Music Festival and taped an episode of the popular Austin City Limits TV Show on PBS, which first aired November 17, 2007. They have also performed at such festivals as the Montreal Jazz Festival and the Calgary Folk Music Festival and have headlined numerous SXSW showcases in their career. The also played at the inaugural South Padre International Music Festival in 2007. The band performs relentlessly, regularly doing over 150 performances a year. Their horn section has also made various appearances on worldwide releases and has recently been performing with indie rock band Spoon. Grupo Fantasma's music was featured prominently in the NYC Cable Public-access television cable TV show, The Unbelievable Show from 2001–2004. The group's album Sonidos Gold was nominated for Best Latin Rock or Alternative Album for the51st Grammy Awards. 

WE'RE SO NOT EACH OTHERS TYPES.

Admittedly, we're not. We have never dated someone like each other before. While we do have a a number of things in common, we're very different people. That's why I think it's working. I mean it's fucking fantastic. I'm falling in love, or I am already there, or I don't know, I just love to be with her. Just to be around my great friend Kate, it's the best thing in the world. There's sunshine on our faces, and stars in our eyes. Our hearts are growing larger by the day, and there's no end in sight. We play so well together. We make everyone sick with our constant giggles and grins.  Actually it's more like we have a supernova of love that no one can deny, It's the best feeling in the world. I haven't had as many smiles in the past six weeks as I have had in the last 6 months. I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough…

WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW?

There's no way to say, so who cares. I love her today! Yes Jim, I love her madly. I love her way. She's quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen. And so in love we are. It's gross, but I fucking luff it. I love the shit out of it.

This is what's up. She's what's up.

She is changing the very definition of she for me.

She's a dream.

Not one that I have had before. I like it. It makes me feel really good. Could you be the one that they talk about? Mmmmmmmm…

Oh, the motorcycle queen. She's the spiciest scooter in town. Her salsa had my lips feeling the same scorching that was flaming in my heart.

Her kisses have got me going crazy. I almost can't take it. They are too good. She's so soft. She's so warm. I want more. I want them now. I want to lay you down and stroke your hair. Kiss you on your head, then explode a million little kisses all over your face.

Sweet Jane. You're the one for me. Would a rose not be a rose by any other name?

Heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to her when she smiles.


I love that she's just so cool. She has a very relaxed and breezy way to her. She's funny. She make me laugh. And laugh we do. These ginormous  gregarious grins we wear are not lost on anyone we meet. We're such dorks. It's great. She's great.

Hey Kate, I think you're great.

So will you still love me tomorrow? 

IT'S YOU.

Lady K.

Ms. DuMontiere in fact.

I love your work. You amaze this old fool. I can't stop smiling because of you. You're the one I've fallen for. Surely, this can't be a dream. It must be the truth. Come with me to the sea. The sea, the sea of love. I'll always be by your side. Even when you're down and out. I just want to be close to you. I want to be the best boy you'd ever meet.

Hopeless romantics like me know one thing.

If lilac wine is for reals then this can't be denied. This is the stuff of dreams, moonbeams, and monsters. I want to take you to the moon, just so I can kiss you upside down.  Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love. I feel I'm steady. It's like my love.

This whole thing has gone crazy. I have gone crazy for this one. This girl, without the curls. This beautiful blonde baby. The southern star, in full regalia. She danced on in her ballet slippers, twirled a bit, and stole my heart.

Thank you. Just a simple meeting of the minds. We'll fight fire with fire.

Listen to me. I cannot see clearly. I don't care. If this haze is what loving you is like, then I won't no part of not knowing it, forever. Why is everything so hazy, am I go crazy?

Yes. So crazy.

Lilac wine, I feel I'm ready.

OH HOW THE NOTES BEND AND REACH ABOVE THE TREES

What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all around the sun. When we meet on a cloud I'll be laughing out loud. I'll be laughing with everyone we see.  Oh your face. It is such a light that it's like a distant lighthouse signaling this ship to come on home.  Your embrace is the thing that reminds me of home. Your gentleness.  The smell of your hair. The way you kiss.

The way you kiss me is the way I know how connected we are. Your supple suckers have got me reeling each time the spark is sprung from our lively lips. I love to kiss you. I need to kiss you. I want to kiss you. Now. Right now. Always.

You're so dreamy I can't help but giggle when I am around you. You're so much like me, yet so different. You sure do light up a room. In fact, set it on fire.

That sleep inside the daydream I spoke about, I am falling farther and farther into. It's like floating on a breeze. Falling through the efferfluff. It's soft, and warm. It's where I want to live. It's where I want to die.

I'm thinking a lot about you. I mean I think of you often and I also think you're worth so much. I care about you. I want to take care of you. I want to compliment the shit out of you. I want to be your biggest fan.

Ballerina, I can you see you dancing. Your grace and sinuous movements are spellbinding.

There are lights in the clouds and there's ghosts all around.

This is the only way I want to live. I want to get lost in you. Perhaps I'll be waiting for myself there.

You inspire and delight me. I really enjoy that. I really enjoy you. I can't wait to see you. :)

WILL YOU COME AGAIN? IT'S HARD TO SAY

Third meeting. Much of the same serendipity. She came in looking hot to trot. Such a summer breeze. What a sunshine daydream. She's so pretty, and such a doll. I love to lay my gaze upon her. Tonight was a little more personal. We did get a little deep. Whatsoever, the music was good. The kisses were those of the dreamy magical love that neither of us believes in. The eternal optimist Vs. the eternal pessimist. Surely, all of this is so profound. It's nice to talk about.

Talk of yesterday and she will describe some thing that she does not believe in, even though it's sitting right in front of her, I mean, I am that thing that you think doesn't exist. I have all of that stupid, silly, splendiferous, wanderlust inside me. I can be the boy that you don't believe in. Let's just dance dance to joy division. We'll celebrate the irony. Everything is going wrong, but we're so happy. Let the love tear us apart, I found a cure for a broken heart. Let it tear us apart.

Don't push me out. Just a little longer. I am here to stay. I will be here in the weirdness, I'll be here in the shame. I'll teach you how to use, the love that people say I've made. Let's break this tired old routine. I am ready to take you on for a ride.

You could be the best thing that's ever happened to me. You could be that sparkly gumdrop I am so sure that exists. Come with me my love, to the sea. The sea of love.

You said you would give me the opportunity to be the boy with the heart of gold. So let me. You may believe it or not, but it's the truth that remains to be seen.

The passions were running hot tonight. That being said, it was a magical evening. In the grass. In the park. Under the full moon. Are you kidding? It was the moment. I had to go with it. I am glad I did. I had never seen such a slinky bodice draped in moonlight, until tonight. I'm pretty sure, I saw you first. It was in a dream. It was in a dream.

I know there's a light inside…

It's the chemistry. It's the way I see everything I need. Could this be our little secret? No one needs to know we're climbing higher, and higher.

It's ours for the taking. Will you return to me? I do not know, all I can do is hope. So here's to hope and all that mess. Let me be your everlasting light. Love is the coal that makes this train roll. Let me be, your everlasting light…

You don't have a clue, what it is like, to be next to you.

COULD IT BE?

Holy schnikes batman! I saw it. I fucking saw it! I looked into those dazzling green peepers and they looked right back at, and through me. Holy shit. Is this happening? I mean for reals! At first, I saw the girl. I was delighted by her rosy cheeks, her gregarious grin, and her cute little feets. I just had to ask her name. Ask her if she wanted to meet me after work. She did!

The first meeting was fun, smiley, and had some good conversation. I had to see her again.

The second meeting was effortless. Easy and fun. Simply delicious.  The conversation was swirling all around us. My giggles did not fall on deaf ears. Our laughter had to be somewhat annoying, even to the other lovers seated around us. It was time. I had to know what those lips tasted like. I had been staring at them for the entire night, and dreaming about our first lip lock.

We take a walk. We hold hands. We look up at the stars. We feel the grass under our toes. I pull her in close. She looks up. I go for it.  Those lips, so soft, supple. Golly gee wilickers, she tastes like heaven! Oh that first kiss was the stuff of movies, moonbeams, and dreams. I had to steal another one. And another.

Not wanting to scare the dear, I decide to keep the walk going. When we arrive back at our house of wine, I get two glasses of some effervescent bubbly.  As the bubbles are a popping, our grins are a growing. I can't stop smiling. Neither can she. Is that music I hear in the air? Is that just in my head? Who cares, it's beautiful, so is this, and so is she.

We decide to go meet my friends down the street. My friends being in true form, are lively and fun. She jumps right in. Doesn't bat an eye. Lovely.

They're leaving. On to the next spot. This is where my heart started to sink, just a bit. We laughed, and laughed. We kissed and kissed. Oh my lord. This little gizmo has gotten to me. She's touched me, in all the right places.  It feels so good. She feels so good.

I cannot wait to see her again. I am smitten, and so is she. I don't think either of us will break these grins plastered on our mugs for quite sometime. The scent of her skin is intoxicating. Her blonde locks are so fine. Her dimples kill me. Oh I could look at this beauty all day long. However, it's time for her to go. We make another date. It's more than a day away. Oh man, this is going to be tough. It's ok though, I am pretty sure that the sunshine emanating out of my ass will keep me afloat until I see her again.

I can't stop smiling. She can't stop smiling. Can't stop. Won't stop.

IN MY LIFE


I have been dreaming of and looking for love. I can't remember a time that I wasn't. All of the movies, oh those movies, have made my heart seem to think that the ridiculously sublime wonderfulness is out there for the taking. I know what you'll say, it's the movies. Yes, I know. I see the love though. I see it everywhere. I see those magic movie moments actually come to life. Just not for me. 


Let's talk about music. I have always been a huge fan of music. It has always been the soundtrack to my life. When I was young I fell asleep to the radio every night. Perhaps it was those sonic infused dreams that caused this wanderlust in me. All of these words, all of the choruses, have played into the very being of me. I always have a song in my head. I'm usually singing it too. I get lost in the sounds. I hear in my mind all of this music, and it breaks my heart. I keep singing these love songs, just to break my fall. Wasn't every chorus written for us? 


Does this thing really exist? Is there a supernatural, spellbinding, cosmic, brilliant, blossoming, beautifully bodacious love? I hope so. I really hope so. There's one thing I know about myself. I know what I am good at. I know where my strengths and weaknesses are. I know that at the end of my life, my greatest accomplishment will be that love that I speak of. I have so much inside me, that it hurts. It wants out, so badly. 


I want to spread this love that I have made, all over you. Sprinkle it with sweetness. I want to live my life, to build you up. I want to live for you. I want to be a better man for you. I want you to be the better woman behind this good man. Everything I do, I'll do it for you. I am writing now, for you. I am trying to take this thing inside me and share it with the world. I have the love, I feel the love. I need to see in your eyes the reciprocation of what's inside. You needn't say a word. Just one look. That's all it takes.


I have tried. I have failed. I have fallen. I have gotten back up. I will always get back up until I fall so hard that I can't remember feeling the way I do right now. 


I have always been more in touch with my feelings than I probably should be. I feel it all. At times, I have done my best to squash these feelings. I have numbed myself for years. I tried to cut them out. I tried to kill it with all my being. However inside me there is a spring, a deep well of everlasting love. I cannot deny it. It is my strength. It's where my hope, my peace, my smile originates. 


I was made to love her. You've been my inspiration, I want to show you my appreciation. And appreciation is what I got. I want to thank you. I want shower you with a million little kisses. I want to tickle your toes. I want to buy flowers for you. For no particular reason whatsoever. Just to see you smile. Just to feel your warm embrace. I want to watch you walk through sun drenched field in the summertime. Bring your flowered hat. I want to feed you things. Peaches and berries and pies. I want to get drunk on your love. I want to tell you funny things. I want to keep you in my pocket. I want to make you the happiest girl in the whole wide world. They'll speak of our love. They'll say it isn't true. To which we shall reply with a wink and a nod. We know.  

  VS.


You vs. Me. Me vs. You. Us vs. Them


It's quite possible that I am not fighting enough. It could also be said that I am not fighting smart. There is a fight. Everyday, a little hill to get up. A challenge if you will. Am I up for the challenge? Have I acknowledged it before now? Well now I do. 


Let's fight. 


I am ready. I am ready to take on anything you've got. Whatever secrets you hold. Whatever. I will fight for it. I will fight for you.  


I've got my coins. The start button is glowing radiantly vermillion…


It was You vs. Me. I lost, poorly. It's now Me vs. You. I am losing still. I think I may have been fighting, but not in the proper way. I see my folly. I know you do too. You must see some light, because, well I think you're still speaking to me. 


You should be. I am not at all what I seem. You may have sen some of what I am, but I doubt it.


You will. You must. 


I will not give up after losing one round, even two. You must give me the showdown. It shall come to fruition.


Game on. 

WALK WITH ME SUSIE LEE


You did see me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a flower of my own. You walked on over and gave me those glances, those nuances. I couldn't help but notice. I was flattered. I still am.



I come on a little strong, really I'm passionate. I understand that many people I meet aren't used to it. Please don't be frightened. Or do be, just a enough.



It's my goal now to not call you, for I have realized that it's been one week. I know I have been rather persistent. I don't mean to scare you. It's just that you're the best thing I have seen in a long time. I don't really know you, but from the time we have spent together, I can tell that my instincts to call you the morning after I met you were correct. Thanks for playing.



When I see something I want. I am a touch smitten. That being said, I am smitten with you. I want that stupid, crazy love, but sometimes I get a little anxious for it.


Here's where I chill.


I daydream quite a bit. Where do you suppose she goes? What's makes here wiggle her toes? I think I just can see a good thing when it comes a long. I don't see a crime in that. Although, I do see a pitfall.



I digress. Everywhere are pitfalls. You have to play all your cards right, and all the stars have to align. It seems to me that it's harder and harder to meet someone these days. All of the people, people at shows, bars, sidewalks, fb, the grocery store and pools. You meet so many people, or at least I do, that it feels like no one gets to know each other anymore. What's your pedigree? Oh, ok. Ciao.



Weren't the stars a slighlty aligned last Thursday? I had just begun riding a bike as my main transportation. That night after work I decided to go support a friend by going to his show. My associate and myself rode to the club where we ran into a friend of ours. After said show, other friends were at another bar. We decide to go. We get sidetracked.



Finally we arrive at the spot of destiny if you will. The strange thing about this is I haven't been frequenting these places too much as of late. Definitely not on my bike. So it's a little peculiar to be there on that night in particular. We go in, have some drinks, hang out outside. Meet some new friends, and decide to go to another locale across the street. Service sucks. This guy won't even acknowledge me. Fuck it, let's go. Back to the fu. As I walk in the door, I see you. It's last call and I am thirsty. I head to the bar, and try to get a drink. As I am waiting, you walk up behind me. I turn around. Damn.



Beautiful. Then those eyes start talking. My favorite was when you would look directly at me, then dart them to side. Only to return with a sneaking glance and a cracked smile. Here's where I buy you a beer. Next thing I know, I am enthralled with talking to you. Oh you surf? Californian? Your mouth is so cute. Smart. Those eyes... beguiling. Saucy. Oh yes, can I Please have your number? Thank you my dear. The pleasure was all mine. You walked out with a grin, and I turned around smiling.



I didn't realize it until I got to bed, but you were still on my mind. I thought that was fun, and fell asleep. The next morning, there you were. I woke up with you. I had to talk to you again. I called three hours later. The rest you're pretty familiar with. For I think you have been there. Albeit, a little more sober than I. Therein makes me want to talk to you again, totally sober, soon. However, I am sure that if I was totally sober, and had spent the time with you, I'd feel the same, or possibly more hoodwinked by your presence. I think YOU may have it enjoyed it more if I was with my wits. I would really like to see you again. I want to make you laugh. I want to see you smile.

DID I SEE IT?

Wow. I mean wow. I did see those eyes. Not quite sure if it's the eyes I just wrote about not too long ago, but hey at least it's a possible contender. Oh possibility, how you surprise and inspire me. I mean she did come over, by herself. She came to see yours truly. I was not in the right mind for it, for she had arrived late, and I had become a little nervous. Well mistakes were made. That's the most I'll say about that at this point in time.

However, she's still talking to me. She's a cool one. She's super cute. Saucy smile. Devious eyes. Check. I may have gushed a little bit. I know I did. It's alright though, cause if you're going to know, or ever love me, you have got to know that I am a bit ridiculous. I am a silly heart. I am cracked up, cheesy, one-of-a-kind blow hard. If it's right, you'll fucking love it. If you don't, you're not the one for me.

These things I know. So little surfer girl, what say you?

I got the love, love of the loveless.

What's the story morning glory? No, I'm not glub. I ain't even got the blues. It's just me, a little older and wiser. I'm happy being me. Smelling the way I do. My hairs have gone crazy, but that's also a lot to do with the rain. I think that I may have learned a thing, maybe even two.

I do love the love and I do posses the love of the loveless. I'm so in love with love that I can make myself lovesick. I do believe that this love that springs from within me is from a true and beautiful source. It's this love I must not confuse with lust and infatuation.

I am overwhelmed by beauty. Blinded by it's light. This is where the danger lies within. It's wrapped up with my vanity and can lead me down the wrong path. It can also lead me down the right path. I think it's a crime to not fully appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. It inspires us. It dares us to dream. It gives us hope.

Today we are given one more chance to recognize the beauty that inspires the love that surrounds my soul. As a new life begins we are able to perceive the beauty that is perpetually engulfing our every moment. It's days like today, fantastic, hot, sticky, wet, loud, grey and bright days that make me smile. There's a light being born at this very moment. May this be baby be welcomed by the love. May this baby, be the love. I can see the beauty, at least for today. I want to see this beauty more days.

Today I want to wish a great big warm and fuzzy love to my little Zadie Hope. I love you, and I cant wait to meet you. Thank you for reminding me of the beauty. I got the love. Love of the loveless.

IT'S IN YOUR EYES

The moment I see it, I know it will be true. I know that the secret does lie right in your eyes. It's sparkly, bewildering, and has that gaze that will look right through me. I know the look, but I haven't seen it in quite some time. Maybe I have never really seen it, but I am sure that I will know it when I do see it. I'm looking straight ahead. I have my eyes open wide. My heart is just looking for that secret to burst with joy. All I need is a spark in the dark. When you see me, just look at me, like I know you will. The rest is up to us. Let's make this spark glow brightly in the dark. Let's supernova a love that no one can deny. It will be a new light for the entire galaxy to see. Get yippee with glee.

STANDING ON MY OWN TWO FEET

You know I always write about you, even though I have never met you. Every time I write, I say I need you. I do, in most respects, but I am standing stronger on these feets of mine. My smile is growing bigger, and my heart is filling up with laughter. I know that I am getting better at being me. The boy you may have thought you knew, you probably don't. For this boy is becoming a man. It's taken a little longer than expected, by all. However, I think the best things come to those who wait. If that's true then I must be the best thing you've ever seen, cause I know you've been waiting indefinitely. Just stay tuned, keep singing along with me, and I know we'll find that happiness we so deserve. Smile much?

MISCHA AND THE IMPOSTOR

What's the dealio, yo? I mean, I'm a good guy, right? Why don't I find that girl? You know, that one. Sometimes is baffling. I see her, maybe. And she's with someone that she shouldn't be with. He's not that funny. Not so charming. Not even good looking.

So you sit across the bar from me. Stealing glances with every chance you get. Yeah, I see you looking, most likely cause you see me looking at you. You look like you belong on my arm. Surely you can see that you are clashing with his. Just be bold baby. Walk right over, whisper something in my ear. Drop me a note. Have the bartender send me a beer. Download the situationist app, and come freaking high five me.

You're killing me.

While I may have enjoyed these cat and mouse games in the past, these days they make me ill. Maybe I am over "the chase." It's never really worked out for me before, so forget it. YOu can chase me. That's why I am not getting up and walking over to you. Even though I can tell this is your first, maybe second date. There's no touching. Barely any eye contact between the two of you.

Maybe you thought this was your best option at the time. But look. I walked in. You caught my eye, and I know that I caught yours. You can do better. All you need to be is bold. I know what you're thinking. "Why is he not chasing me?"

I'm done with that. You make the first move. I guarantee you'll like what you find. I'm so sorry that you had to meet me now. I mean, a few weeks ago I would have walked right up to the both of you, and just introduced myself. However, that wouldn't have gotten me any farther than this, so what's the worth? It's no worth. If you're worth it, it'll happen. Somehow, someway. Right? That's what they say. I guess for now, I'll try and listen…

I'M JUST SO SILLY

I mean my heart is a silly thing. I too, my personality I guess you would call it, is rather giddy as well. I get lost in my emotions, everyday. Like this song, "I only have eyes for you" I get lost in that little do-wop sock-hop dream each time I hear it. I guess you can say that I'm a dreamer, but I am not the only one. I hope someday you will join me, and then perhaps we can live as one.

I dream about you. I picture you, and your many shades of hair color. We're laughing in the sun. Rolling in the clover. Just making the world sick with our stupid puppy love. It's a squeaky clean, super shiny, sunshine daydream. You play the star in which I play your counter. I don't call myself a star because really, you're the star baby. You always have been, and always will be.

I write about you. Most days, I write about you. How fantastically, effortlessly, wonderful that you are. If you hadn't figured that out just yet, keep reading. They say that all lovers must be blind, and I say they may be right. For I am blindly writing to you, and seriously do I even know you? I don't think so, but maybe you know me?

It doesn't really matter, if I know you or not. I mean, I'll die without you. However, until then, just dreaming about you, writing to you, and pretending that every love song was made for us, makes me believe. I want to walk you home. Please, let me hold your hand. I want to walk you home. You look so good to me, ooo-ooie…

EVERYDAY

I want to wake up, in the morning. I want to lay my swollen eyes upon thee. I want to nuzzle my face into your matte of hair. I want to kiss that cinnamon skin. I want to stroke the small of your back with my index finger and pinky. I want the sunlight to play on the wall. I want to lay in revery of your all mighty aura. I want to sleep inside a dream that's starring you and only you. I want to bring you water. Make breakfast in bed, then get something to eat. I want you inside me. I want to giggle with your glee. I want to make a break for the bathroom, only to return with leaps and bounds into the world we have created between the sheets. I want to talk boldly over bacon. I want to fry an egg on the heat that we generate. I drink coffee, black. You are the only sweetener I require.

JAZZ HAS MY HEART

I don't even know this girl. I've met her a few times at her shows. I don't know her.

I want to. I want to so bad. Her pictures make my heart drop to the bottom. She's so cool, it kills me. Effortlessly, she's got me. I don't even know how to correctly write this. I mean, I think I told her I was in love with her the other night. Her reply was, "don't say shit like that." :) I smiled for that was the best reply I could have heard from such a ridiculous claim. However, I believe it to be true. I'm really not sure. I'm crazy. I have so many flights of fancy that it drives me wild. I'm a hurricane. A tropical depression to be reckoned with. So if you like Pina Colada's and soft summer rain, I just might be your flame. I mean if we can swap out those colada's for some whiskey, then it's on. Or shit, even some black coffee will do. It doesn't really matter, for all I want is you. I have to talk to her. I want to ask her a million questions. I want to play with her hair, put feathers in my mine and war paint on my face. I want to gaze into those big bonny eyes and get lost forever, or at least for the moment. I could live a lifetime in my mind.

Are you cuckoo for cocoa pebbles? I'm surely cuckoo for you…

It was a rainy afternoon in Seattle when I first stumbled upon "BUD'S OLD JAZZ RECORDS." The scent in the air was old, dusty, and fantastic. Even my Grammie's apple pie's had never smelled so sweet. I got lost in that world for hours, which in turn got lost in my soul for my lifetime. Old jazz records make my heart swell, and young Jazz singers make it explode with fervor. This girl, that I don't even know, has got me. What she will do with this, I have no idea. Just to know that she exists is quite the thrill…

KEEPIN' IT CREEPY AT AUSTIN REGGAE FEST

The naysayers will say, it's not as good as it used to be. The tickets are too much and the bands aren't that good. Well, fuck you, I'm partying. After a long day of slinging cheese at M2 I was hot and tired. My flaca was not at work that day due to her snoozefest of a birthing class. My associate had taken her place. Guiseppe was in full form as we sipped frozen delights, and made our way to the festival with a nice irie meditation. The scene was young, and crowded. I expected as much, but still it was a little unpredictable. The air was warm and dirty. The dust had been shuffled enough to become airborne and tickle my olfactory senses as well as my sight. I closed my mouth. I needed liquid refreshment. The Front Row Chicano had to decided to accompany us on the last minute, and it was a welcome edition. Three is definitely creepier than two. Upon deciding on the king of beers, we made our way towards the stage into the crowd of kids, bohemians, ruffians, babies, stoners, and hookers? WTF

We pull up front left. You know, that's just where I go. There's not a blade of grass to speak of. We have reached the epicenter of dirt cloud we were so happily greeted with upon our arrival. Guiseppe then fires up the first jammer since the last.

"Jah nex band is from Kansas City, give et up!"

We laughed a little, but hey who are we? Just funny to me. One of the band members even put his hands over his face when the announcer called them out. Luckily, Guiseppe's little treat had caused the dust in the setting sun have a sort of ethereal quality. The world was golden, the band was good. They had the solid vibrations and irie meditations you need in reggae. I danced to their entire set. Jah, rastafari.

Here's where it starts to get creepy. Well, I say that although I had begun creepy. I was wearing dirty work clothes and the unicurl was definitely aloft. In that nature we began to scan. Makes moves. Hustle. Just get a little better look. Shit they're 12. Moving on.

Look. It's those two we saw on the way in. Let's go. Yes, standing in a port-o-let line trying to catch the eye of that someone you're looking for is a little creepy. So be it. Look over here dear. There you go. Hello. It's me again. My, my those eyes are spellbinding. I see you lookin'. Don't turn around. Well do, look at that tattoo.

It's a a good one. It's an image of a beautiful woman from the shoulders up embraced with death. They are holding each other close, just about to kiss. It's almost as intoxicating as the felonic form before me. Now that we had locked eyes, surely she was interested.

Yeah, there were three jockey's in between me and the triple crown, but I was not worried in the least. She had whispered something in the others ear while darting a longing glance right to that beating muscle pounding in my chest. The ladies go in to said port-o-let together and the jockey's in front of me are silly with glee. I think their silly was a little premature for two of them were in the bathroom when the girls came out of theirs. They say "bye" to the third jockey still standing in line, and make their way right past him. His mouth agape, his face dumbfounded. Not wanting to suffer the same fate, I decide to hold it.

I spot the vixens making their way through the crowd. I gave chase. Every step I am getting closer to that auburn hair and those sparkling baby blues. "excuse me" Left. "pardon me" Right. Straight ahead, I see my opportunity.

I pick up my pace to a fast walk. I reach out my left arm and grab hold of the loveliest arm in the crowd. She twirls around and those eyes and mine are locked in pure unfettered infatuation. Sparks, moonbeams, and little cartoon blue jays dance all around us. The camera pans out, spins, and turns in a circular motion keeping us close to the center. Just as I am about to speak, she gets snatched up. Literally. Some guy had seen her walking by, and I guess he knew her. For when he scooped her up, she gave a big hug and said some sort of pleasantry.

Fail.

I walk out of the crowd to find Guiseppe & The Front Row Chicano in mild hysterics. Fuck it, I say. I gotta pee…

I GOT GIRL POWER.

I'm just sayin. Without my girls, I'd be nothing. My ladies. The flacas. The directionally challenged. The entrepreneurs. The Mothers. The sisters. The socialites. All without whom I would be utterly lost. Our conversations continue to amaze, inspire and ignite me. It's these beauties that I call my friends. I love them. They truly are my greatest friends of my life. I say this for with my girls I can say anything. I can ask the most ridiculous question, and not get too much shit for it. I respect their opinion. I seek their counsel. In this spirit I just want to give you all a collective kiss on the cheek. I love your work.

<3 DC

SHE WALKED RIGHT IN, AND SAT RIGHT DOWN.

Oh the pretty bird. I had forgotten just how cute this gingersnap was. She breezed in to the patio of my favorite local watering hole and pulled up a spot right next to yours truly. That's good for I was anxiously awaiting her arrival. Her winning grin is entirely infectious. I don't think I stopped smiling, yet. I think I have had this grin plastered on my mug since we met just last night. I mean, met up, for I had met the beauty years earlier but could not tell her how I felt about her, since the duke was totally under her spell as well. Well the duke is gone, and this pretty lion is growing up. I suppose that time works everything out. I found my self feeling glad that I had waited years to tell her of the crush she held on my heart. I don't believe if I had told her years ago that it would have made much difference. We were different people back then. I am happy with the people we have become and that now we can take a look and see if what is weighing on my heart is really true. So is it? Well who knows. Last night was so easy, breezy and beautiful it made me think that maybe it's so. Effortless is how I would characterize it. The conversation was titillating. My eyes were filled with moonbeams and stars. I could not stop longing for those flaming tresses of auburn that fell all around her fetching face. Surely she was feeling some of the same, for her giggles, grins and her soft caresses had me reeling. And reeling I am. Something about her had my dreams filled with that favorite color of mine, all night long. When I awoke, she was still firmly planted on my mind. As I sit here, I just can't help but wonder if the pretty bird will return. Will you return to me? I guess it's my old friend time that will assure me if this muse is the one I had been dreaming of. So here's to you and here's to me, what will happen no one can see. This time, absolutely, positively, maybe…

A RAINBOW STILL LOOKS PRETTY WHEN IT BLEEDS

Let's just say that sometimes you have to dance naked. I mean, people will look, stare even. Always watching, judging. You know, oh well. Dance. Just dance. Kiss them off these lips of mine.
The lights go up, the crowd bursts into uproarious cheer as the sisters make their way on stage. Like an electrofunk shock to my soul, Jake and Ana come out absolutely scorching. Red and black patent leather gleaming like freshly oiled abs. It's very hot. Sweaty for sure. The sea of sisters before me have the giddy of glee. The crowd is bouncing. Everywhere I look hands, feathers, fingers, and phones are all being waved in the streaking lights emanating from behind my scissors. One by one the buttons unbuttoned down my shirt. Pause. Dance. Just dance. It's been five years or so since I saw the sisters. I loved that tour opener that popped my cherry way back then, but tonight they were new. Licentious. Loud. Lovely. The energy was amazing. The pounding beats, with jakes falsetto, and Ana's soul had my appendages gyrating along with their cunning cadence. The tiny pebbles frolicked under my feet. At a show like this, you better be ready for the long haul. There's no stopping. You don't sit down. You dance. You dance your ever loving ass off. You try to keep your clothes on, but man it's hot, and so were my hotpants. I had decided awhile back that a feather boa is a good a shirt if you don't have anything else, however I was without said boa. Sweat beads are streaming down my wrinkled cheeks caused by the grin plastered on my mug. I sneak the shirt down my back from my shoulders. Do a little half shirt on, half shirt off ditty, and take it off. I brush the girl next to me who let's out some sort of "eww" noise while wiping her arm. "This is the front row honey" I mutter as I sway the other way into the invisible light. This is where I stay locked into perpetual motion. Prancing to and fro, making new friends, and enemies, but all in the sweet sweat soaked gooeyness of the dance floor. When the scissors give us their final kiss, I'm speechless. To my surprise, and my surprise alone THE SCISSOR SISTERS had rocked my snakeskin spandex right off! I don't even care if they respect me today.

That shit was hot.

SHE'S HERE AGAIN, OR MAYBE I'M THERE.

I saw you first. It was in a dream. It was in a dream

It's true. For I have been dreaming about you for some time now. The colors, oh the colors, she comes in colors everywhere. She's busy as a bee and I think, sweet like the honey. Though she was frightened at first, I think this lissome darling is warming up to yours truly. I am ridiculous, and I know you like it. I will not give up, I will not fail. I don't know much about this beauty, but she's doing a great job of running through my mind, all the time. Saw her again, just last night. The best part was that saucy little grin when she did lay those baby blues on me. Her touch is soft. I can feel her sensitivity come to my heart like a shot in the arm. I know one thing doll, and that is, I can tell that you and I are gonna be friends. So you're off on Mondays. Me too…

BEFORE THEY WERE BAND OF HORSES.

They lived in Seattle and were called CARISSA'S WIERD.

Listen to Carissa's wierd now, only on the mess. <---

crazy thoughts about applesauce.

It's been the music. It's always about the music for me. The chanteuse is singing, just to me. I believe that she's singing just for me. It's these flights of fancy that start my beasts of burden a runnin'. I can't get over her, whoever she is. I'm starting to feel that she don't exist. Every time I meet her, she's a bit different, and it feels a little strange. Not at first you see, the googly eyes have got me. The odds come to an end whenever the doubts start creeping in. Is it her, is it me. Will someone please explain it to me.
I know. I've heard it all before. Just wait. Be patient. Stop looking. I wish I could.
she stands before me...

AND WE'RE THERE…

The eclectic mess is well on it's way to completing it's very first birthday, and just in time for Christmas! Looking for that last minute gift idea? Look no further, a very messy, eclectic audio expansion for that special someone you just didn't think of until now.

http://74.61.92.4:8000/listen.m3u

THE DR. IS IN

In the early hours of Halloween 2010 a strangely beautiful, exceptionally scary, and totally creepy Dr. Frank N Furter left his home (the planet Transexual in the galaxy of Transylvania) and arrived in the locale of Austin, TX. The doctor was seen at various soiree's and was even rumored to be serving nachos, queso, and cheesy enchiladas at local cafe on Sunday night. This eternal party goblin was not to be missed as he danced the weekend away causing all to shiver with antici…

HE HE HE HA HA HA

A little bit of spliffy, a little bit of whimsy. It's been dark and rather dreary, but I just can't help from grinning. It's sad, but it's beautiful. It's gritty, but it's pretty. It's no different now than it was then. The characters may have changed, the forces may have shifted, it's just a new set, one in the same, as it has always been and as I suspect, always shall be. So be it. Time to get up, get out and get on with it. You may be my silver lining, you may even be my gold. Whatever you are, my heart you will hold. Take a bite. Throw it against the wall. Step on it. Pretty tough, huh? Like I said, it's gritty, but it's pretty.

IT MAY BE COLD OUTSIDE, BUT AT LEAST I'M WEARING A FUZZY SWEATER.

It's been months since my last post, and man, they have been some months. I'm not dead, so I guess as it would have it, I have emerged stronger, figuratively. I'll just say that for one, I was not at all sad to see the 09 fall forever into the books of history, however tarnished the writing on the pages had become. This is not a place where I will rehash those pages, for if you really want to know you can inquire within after a merry evening and I've got a belly full of wine. Til then, so sorry.

I know the major difference between now and last year. I know why I am feeling things will be different. To everything, there is an end. Perhaps it's the end of the season, the game, the fries. To everything there is an end. This is the world we live in. Last year was the end of the "first part" or "Act 1" of my life. The curtain has come down, the players have hurried to the dressing rooms, and the lights have gone dim.

I rather enjoyed Act 1, it was full of life. It had it's ups and downs, highs and low's and it sure was fucking beautiful. I wonder how Act 2 will begin? I wonder what surprises lay in wait? Perhaps it's all happening. It's all right around the corner. I guess the only thing to do is wait, or better yet, run. Run towards the light. Grasp at it with all you have.

This play is me, and me will surely play.

THESE THINGS I KNOW

Absolutely, positively, maybe. It's here again, and that's the good thing. The horrible thing is that it's here now, at this moment. Perhaps it's always my clock that says it's not the right time, for if it's always not the right time, it must be that I am wrong and it actually IS the right time. What is the right time anyhow? What does that mean? Who decides? Whoever does, check with me next time, please.

I can hold her hand and show her how I cry. Explain to her my weakness so she understands, then roll over and die. I'd rather not. I'd rather just go for it. Tell the world, tell the girl. It's one in the same really. Surely that spark is not spent on I alone. Surely she is feeling a small smidgin of what I am feeling. Surely.

Who knows these things for sure? Nobody does, so anytime you hear me say surely, you must know that I am joking. There is no surely. No sure thing. Nada. Nothing of the sort. These things I do not know.

It's these things I know. I know how I feel and why I feel that way. I know that how I am feeling makes me act in a certain way when with her. I know that my light is fully lit when I look into her eyes. I know those flutters in my belly are not a direct cause of hunger. I know how soft her mouth tastes. How great her grin is. How immediately infectious her laughter can be. I know how deliciously witty she be. I know that I, yes it's true, am in total, complete, 100% LIKE with this beauty.

This is the best feeling I have had in awhile, so like I say, sit down, shut-up, hold on, and smile. The rest is yet to be written...

JUST BE GENTLE WITH ME

What is it about fucking Tuesdays?

MY HAPPY PLACE

Today I have returned to my happy place. It exists solely in the reaches of my mind, and this I know. I should try to get here more often, but hey, I am here today, so today is the day I shall pontificate about it. My happy place consists of giggles, grins, a bit of pep in the step and of course the laughter and love that is all around me.

"I'm not afraid of a love parade in my daydream."

Oh how I love this place! It holds endless possibilities. It's fun! It's amazing, it's gritty and it's pretty. Do you ever feel like there's so much beauty that your head just might pop off? Even if it does, whatever, I am sure that will be thrilling in it's own right.

I truly hope that you can feel my smile through this post, for I am trying my earnest for you to grab a little piece of it and spread it around.

Share the love.

Be the love.

I love you.

LOVE, IS DEAD.

I regret to inform all you hapless souls who have lost, turned down, cheated, or never found LOVE, but, that bitch is dead.
Don't worry, you're in good company.

LOVE was found floating face up at the Lilliputian pool in her condo by the incessant highway late Sunday. Foul play has been ruled out at this point, but key undisclosed sources tell us that there is in fact a suspect. HATE is thought to blame, but like we said, no official word just yet. LOVE enjoyed a somewhat bittersweet life for all her accomplishments. She often ran into her folly, which as has been well documented by various news outlets and purported sources, such as this one. She is survived by three daughters: HOPE, CHARITY, and GRACE. The names and places of the grandchildren have been omitted for "SAFE's Sake"

Additional sources tell us HATE was last seen drinking whiskey at the broken spoke late Saturday. The residence where the body of LOVE was found is within a close approximation to the spoke, and though HATE has not been charged, he is nowhere to be found.

A funeral has been scheduled for Thursday afternoon at the Sunny Brooke cemetery. Flowers can be sent, but the family has asked that you respect's LOVE's wishes that the be kept modest. The service will undoubtedly be humble.

Details to come.

FOR THOSE WHO JUST DO NOT KNOW

Tonight as I lay in bed discovering a newness in myself, the sparrow returned to me. It's strange to me how I knew that the touch that I saw in the sparrow would surely come with her tonight. It did, and I must say it's more beautiful than I imagined. I am not sure why I am drawn to this sorrow, but I know that perhaps it's the recognition of what's inside of yours truly. Is it my ego, or is it at the heart of it? I am not sure, but certain things have caused me to start to believe in a shift of this conscience. I feel that things are just how they should be. For the moment anyhow.

This sparrow was at her most vulnerable tonight as I have seen. I cannot fully express to this lovely bird how much I know what she is feeling, and that it is ok with me. There is no judgement here, and should hopefully feel comfortable here with me. Get close to me. Tell me what you are afraid of. Try and break my heart. I dare you. I am not looking for punishment, for I don't think this sparrow realizes how deep my heart is, and how badly it's been beaten before. The way in which it exists today is a wiser, bigger, and more understanding piece of anatomy. I feel it growing daily, and the best part of this is, that growth is for everyone.

I do believe that things are happening for a reason, yet I am smart enough to know that I will most likely never know said reason.
My part is to know that things are happening all around me, and the best thing I can do is try and smile. It was the sparrow that most recently reminded me of this, and for that I will be forever grateful. I am here for you. I feel more natural with you than I believe I have ever felt, and that's just a good sign that we will become great friends.

As I let the sparrow return to flight I saw something undiscovered before. There is a new light in her eyes. She really looked at me tonight. She did not hide behind that gregarious grin. It was a beautiful moment, if only for an instance. It's here I shall stay until the sparrow's flight returns...

IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE. by Kris Kristofferson

If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine

No ma'm I know this ain't all that you've ever been used to

You with your rings on your fingers and time on your hands

Sometimes it's nice to have somebody nice to be close to


Lord, knows I've been there before you and I understand

If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine



I wish that I was the answer to all of your questions

God knows I know you wish you were the answer to mine

Darling if you ain't a thing but a change in direction

Lord knows I'd know you'd be somethin' I'm lucky to find



If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine

If you show me yours hon, I'll show you mine.

OH THE WIND AND RAIN

It gets me every time. It causes my heart to swell. It wants to burst with beauty. What is it about the rain? I am not sure exactly, I think it makes me think of snuggling up with someone who loves the rain and the snugs just as well. The soft sounds. The warm caress. The touch of the lips. Oh how I love rainy days. They are magical to me as are quite a few things in this life. Yes I believe in magic, not the pull the rabbit out of hat kind, but the serendipitous type. The magic that makes you smile. Makes you laugh, and makes your eyes well up with tears for occasionally the world can be so beautiful that you just can't take it anymore. You have to release your own rain. Let it rain down upon me. Today I can feel the magic. I can see it even. It glows and shines bright, but you have to allow your self to see it. It's like an aura of things. A little spark or a glimmer in the dark. If you can open your eyes wide enough to see it, get ready. It's sometimes overwhelming, so let it flow through you. Allow it to lift your spirits to the highest heights, and when you get to the big puddle, jump in. It's only the excess flow of magic that has collected on the ground. Take a sip, and let yourself slip away...

An oldie, but a goodie.

HELLO, ARE YOU MY LIGHT?

If you read this, which I am sure you probably do not, but just in case, then you would have seen a few posts ago that I am looking for a light that shines. If you don't read this, I mean, why would you? then leave the site, immediately. Anywho, the other day I found a spark. Actually, at first I was blinded with inebriation at that one party where I awoke in my car, but hey at least I was IN the car. I awoke the next morning to remember that there was a definite encounter. A sly fox had led me by the hand to somewhere, and I knew I had a most titilating conversation with her.

Who was she?

What did we speak of?

It eludes me, all day. Suddenly, a flash. Brown hair! Actually I believe I knew this all along. How on earth would I find this spark that I most certainly saw in the dark. Investigate. That's how. I could not return to the scene of the incident for I could not remember where it was. I did have some background on the girl though, I think I know where she works. That's the ticket, show up and see if a brunette recognizes you.

Slowly I climbed the stairs, first the top of the head, the forehead, the eyes, and what a pretty face, could this be her? Is this soulful vixen the very one I seek?
She looks right through me, guess not.

"Hello sir, how are you? Table for one?" she softly says. "Just the bar" I mutter, most definitely not her, I mean surely she would have remembered me. I slink into my seat and order up something cold and wet. I sniff around a bit, looking for the bronze beauty I may have well created in my head. Nowhere to be found. I sit back and try to reach the drunken depths of my cerebellum. Still nothing.

Such an elusive one, perhaps that's why it's so titillating.

Ah yes, there's that degenerate JohnWayne. Maybe he'll have the 411.
Who is she?

She's right up front. She walked you in.

Stunned I see her again, and something goes off in my head. "That is her!" I think to myself. Wow, I am amazed. Such a pretty girl, such a gregarious smile. Why did she not remember me? Did I make a terrible impression? Did she recall me and just not want to go any further in conversation? Hmmmm...

I sit.

Pretty soon she comes and sits at the bar when she's off with a friend. I remember him too. Perhaps they're lovers.
He sees me and invites me to join them. I walk over. I speak directly to her.

"Didn't I meet you yesterday?"

"Oh yes!, That IS you! Sorry I was drunk, and you looked familiar, but I wasn't sure."

"Not a problem, I myself was rather intoxicated and was not sure if it was you either."

Later that evening, we sit alone at the bar.

I ask if I can call her.

"Anytime" she says...

ALLIE dog COOK 1996-2009

The one known to many as a good girl, a bad girl, a slippy girl, but always a faithful girl has left us and gone to dog heaven. She was my best friend, my most trusted confidant, and truly my life's greatest love. It's as if an era has ended. Things are definitely different now. When I walk through the door, I still look for the wagging tail, the sleepy eyes, and the softest ears I have ever had the pleasure of kissing.

Many knew her, and most loved her. She and I had some great adventures, and she will always be remembered by the many who got the chance to meet, hang out with, and pet her. She changed my definition of the word "she" as she always had my heart and her love was never ceasing. Although it's a cliche, she was my best friend, and the one I looked to most in times of trouble, sadness, and always when I was my most happiest. I love this girl with all my heart, and that love will never fade. Still as I think of her, I get a little misty. She was my girl. Although I can no longer seek her counsel, I know she is still with me in spirit. She will always live in my heart, as well as many others.

She passed peacefully with me stroking her precious little head. She was strong til the end, and if you knew her, you would expect nothing less. My friends, it is just me now, and I miss her terribly. I know she is in a better place chasing squirrels and making others smile wherever she is. Please raise a glass and remember the Allie dog if it suits you. Thank you.

To quote a good friend, "She's the only bitch that loved you as much as you loved her."

Rest in peace my love, you were always on my mind.

-Dave

THERE ARE FADED LIGHTS AND LIGHTS THAT FADE

However, I look for a light that shines. It bursts with color, it is color. It's the very essence of the spellbinding aura that I long for. I want it so much, it seems so close yet kind of improbable. Therein lies the predicament. The only thing you can really do, is keep your eyes as open as you possibly can, and when you see the spark, follow the glimmer into the dark...

WHO IS CHARLOTTE MITTNACHT, AND WHERE CAN I FIND HER?

I FOUND MY MUSIC

I love all types of music, and am always listening to my eclectic mess that I own, but today I couldn't find the right fit. I wanted something gritty and beautiful for a good friend reminded me that's pretty much how life is. I had a thought, the song I thought could do it, could do it, and let me tell you, it doesn't get any more pretty, and gritty as this. Ladies and Gentlemen may I present, my song for today, and today was a strange one.

"Everything Is" by Neutral Milk Hotel

Growing sleepy as the rain falls
As children draped in flowers form a chain
They sing a song with jelly jars and bird calls
As night falls into dust and it's day again

I'm not afraid of a love parade in my daydream
Old men with kazoos and beating drums
But I awake and I see the streets are ice cream
It's just you and me and oh dear, our life has just begun

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading

Oh beautiful smiles, won't you stay awhile
We could close the door and sleep all day
It's a September sky with pretty pictures in my mind
That's lost its feeling of so afraid

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading

Grown sleepy now as the rain falls
As children draped in flowers form a chain
They sing a song with jelly jars and bird calls
As night falls into dust and it's day again

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading


The true beauty of this song is to listen to it's crunchy loud grit, sung with sentiment and those super sweet lyrics. Call me if you want a private listening.

ITCHY & SCRATCHY

I guess that's the game, maybe that's always the game. Whatever it is - I like it. This is fun. It's the kind of thing that makes me better. I must consider it all. How could I not? Things can certainly turn on a dime, and while the turn may have been a shocking one, the road remains easy, calm and straight ahead. Is it really possible to have created this thing? I do believe I create my own destiny, so there's my answer. Somedays you just have to go with it, and it let it flow through you. Is it mere coincidence that the very day I bought those brand new shoes, the slinky one oozed a little more out of her shell? It is like the new green adidas that I am so taken with. Please, allow me to explain.

One sunny day you take yourself out. You feel good. Everything is pleasant. There's a want, a need and a desire. I need some new pants, I want some new shoes, and desire something that has the most effervescent sparkle. Long, beautiful story, it was a time when I had it all. It's really an amazing feeling to have your needs, wants, and desires all met on the same day. It's slightly overwhelming, but that's the stuff. When it gets to be too much, just breathe. Exhales almost consistently retain some sort of acceptance.

The funny thing is that in all "normal" circumstances, I would be considered the cat and the mouse be the slinky one. Can slinky befit a mouse more than a cat? Hell no. It comes to me now that I knew this would be the case all along and it's what I wanted. It's working. It's amazing. Chasing this felonic friend will undoubtedly be exciting and fun. All things being equal, I guess that I am Itchy. I always knew I liked that furry little rodent, and I think Scratchy likes it too.

SPLENDID SERENDIPITY

I am absolutely amazed at what has taken place in the last two weeks. It keeps getting better every hour we spend together. Talk. Yes, talk! It's the best thing about it all. I feel like we could talk and talk forever. I think we talked until we passed out just last night. The talk is the truth. It is so real, so refreshing, so unfiltered, and instantly intoxicating. The beauty is in the pact that has brought us together. I can and do say anything to this woman. This is something I have always wanted. I thought it was seemingly impossible to find, for everyone has got their shit, their own agenda, and their own insecurities that usually prevent this kind of thing from happening.

It's all happening.

It is ALL happening!

This makes me giddy like a school girl.

Take my ever loving breath away. There's a rap on the door, a slight pause, and the slinky one appears. I wonder if she has got any inkling about how much she does sparkle? Lighting up a room doesn't cut it. Lighting up my life is more like it. Girl, you have got so much presence - everywhere we go you are the only one I can see. Small in stature maybe, but that is where the smallness ends. It does not define you. It's simply what you have to work with, and work it, you do.

Once again my face catches me smiling, beaming those gastronomic butterflies out into the world where they belong...

FOR THE EXPLORERS

I don’t know where sunbeams end, and moonbeams begin, it’s all a mystery. Like many things in life mysteries can often be explored, however you have to be willing to accept the findings when said mysteries are brought to the surface. This can be a tricky and difficult thing. I would rather know than always wonder though, so, there’s that. It just is. What is it? Well, not what I wanted it to be, but perhaps like Mick said, sometimes you get what you need. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the explorers that will delve in to the depths of the heart, for that’s the only way to go to really know. What can be said is that it’s nice to know, albeit knowing can sting a awful lot. So now I know, and I have made what I believe will be a fantastic friend. I suppose that’s what I ultimately wanted anyhow, however it would have been nice to have a taste for I am certain it’s sweeter than it appears. Oh well...

SMOKE EM' IF YOU GOT EM'

A rather slinky friend recently reminded me of something good. It's almost official, I think this may take. Yay.

I'M AMAZED

So that one, yes, that one! She is the bees knees. She's worth it. She's got it, and I have no idea what she'll do with it, but that's the fun part. At this point I can't do anything but just be honest with the lissome lady. Now she knows how I feel, and although I said I would not scare her, I just may have tugged the curtain a bit too far. Fuck it. That's the only way to do it. After all, we have a pact. As silly as it seems, it also masquerades as making perfect sense. Easy, breezy and beautiful. The lights on 6th made my jolly jump and jitter, and this feels so fresh, that I am not even sure who I want to be anymore. I mean she makes me think, and consider everything. I am fumbling with my words and I get weak in the knees when I am around her. She knows it too, and maybe that's the attraction for her. I don't know for sure, but I will keep on with the chase. She's so sinuous, I must. The best part of the whole thing is that I got the chance I thought I might not ever get. Just to have that chance, and go with it, is fabulous. Not as fabulous as her, but we'll just have to see about that.

THE BITCH, IS BACK.

There's only one. The only one. The one I desire. The one who smells so sweetly...
mostly. Ladies and gentlemen it is with great pleasure that I announce the festivities for the one someone calls the slip. Allie dog® only turns 13 once, or perhaps twice, but, there's only one party, and it's coming to your town.

SLINKY

slinky |ˈsli ng kē|
adjective ( slinkier , slinkiest ) informal
graceful and sinuous in movement, line, or figure : a slinky black evening dress.

This one, the one with the curls that makes me surly. Yes, that one. With this kitten I am smitten. The gracefulness in her movements is razor sharp. Those eyes are grey; or green I think. It's the nuance that has got to me. The posture, the gestures, the way she leans back on a sidewalk bench. She's very felonic, if you will ( feline + tonic ). The gaze is long, drawn out and very deep. She speaks with a softness that is the perfect containment of sweet yet strong. I am captivated by her smile. If she had any idea the power that held, surely she would destroy me, you'd have to. I bow to it. I would do many things. Naughty things. Devious things. Dangerous things... just to have it laid upon me. Although impaired at the time, I dare say that was one my favorite lip tickles I've had. In an instant, the world stood still. Time screeched to an almost absolute halt. Although she eluded my more than obvious invitations, I stayed in slow motion until the morning came. I awoke out of a most salubrious slumber a bit frazzzled for I had things that had to be done, but they had all slipped away. I want to go back there. The place where time stands on it's head, my heart sinks to the bottom, and the slinkiest thing I have laid a gaze upon is sitting right in front of me. Return to me...

OF PHARMACISTS, REALTORS, and NOTHING OF THE SORT


Sometimes you just need to speak up. YOu can watch, you can look and you can even stare if you wish, although I don't recommend it. It's like warming up I guess. Perhaps that's all I really need to do. It goes 1, 2, 3... and a bit of hanging around. You watch them swoop in, giggle, and head out back. You bide your time. There's one that could distract, but turns out, she's the one that's distracted, or wants to be anyhow. Get up, walk outside, it just might work.

Great, it's packed, well, scope it out. You never know who else is lurking. Oh yes, that's the one, but who's this impostor? Wait, am I the impostor? Move, quick. This will do, the corner of the patio round the tree. Ever closer to the one that's caught my eye. Who is this siren? What's her story, where is she from?

Quiet now, just listen, there's something sweet in the air...

Slowly, it begins to take place. Take it down a bit. Relax, it's the same old song, however it sounds like a chord I haven't heard before. Well... hello there. What a wonderful thing. That has got to be the most gregarious grin I have had the pleasure of being shined upon. Oh so small, but actually that's the not the case at all. There is something about this one. In truth, it's a bit overwhelming. It's not often that the softness makes me flutter, but this one has got me snafu'd. Take a breath, soak it up, and let it flow. There is a spark in the dark.

It's got me moonstruck, plagued even. The girl has got to be a bad ass, in fact I know she is. The enchantress is cool one, so mind your p's and q's. Play your cards right, whatever that means. Whatever it means, I am on it. I see it, I want it, I need it, I have to have it. If she could only see. I will show her, not in the usual way, but in a new different one, not the sort I am accustomed to at all. That spark is glowing bright, and looks like it just might burn me well, and that, is the most thrilling component yet.
To be continued...

GUARANTEED
by Eddie Vedder

On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe...

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation, but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they're singing with the dead
Overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY KNEW ME AT ALL



Even when you were just one year old, there was magic, somewhere in the air...

WHAT IS IT ABOUT TUESDAY?


I have always thought of tuesday as brown. Light brown to be exact. I'm not really sure why but I tend to associate different days of the week with certain colors that sort of vary but are rather constant. They're a bit older, more of that nostalgia I suppose. Not like the Hannah Barbera ink, but rather the briar rabbit book I had in the late seventies. You probably had to be there. At this point I almost feel compelled to give you the rest of the days, and I know you want to hear about them anyhow, so here we go. Wednesday is kind of a salmonish orange, thursday faded kelly green, Friday is obviously black, saturday is a fiery kind of red, sunday a nice mahogany brown, and monday white with a rose hue. I'm not for sure but, it seems these colors have been the same my whole life, at least as much as I remember at least. I have not delved too far into the abyss of my mind as of late to be able to explain why I do this, or how it effects my life. It must have some effect however, and maybe I should listen to that a little more, it seems natural to me. I think I just might. It's the early stages of that mellow green, I think I'll start there.

IT'S SO COLD AND SHE'S SO WARM

She's great, it's great. It was what I have been missing I think. It's that one, you know the one. The silly one, the sweet one, the sexy one, the shy one. That girl has definitely got me. I think she gets it, and she may just like it. It's a lesson I believe. An exercise in patience, and I may have failed the quiz. It's cool, I forgot to study, I was too excited yesterday. it's all her fault anyway. She knows, that I know that she knows that I write this in the hopes that she'll read it, but it's a farce. She's not reading it, and do I even want her to? Yes, that's why I am writing this. What's that thing called that she's got? That thing that has me, consumes me, and makes silly thoughts pass through my head. Oh, the girl is growing up though. It's good to see, and it's always nice to see the lovely thing being more of the extraordinary person I know she will be. I wonder at times if she is how I think she may be, or if perhaps she's just like me. I hope it's the latter, I have a sneaker, but she's a wiggly little worm, and do you really ever know? I do and she best figure it out soon, or I'm just going to have to wait longer...

GOIN DOWN THE ROAD FEELIN' BAD

If you've ever read this blog before, then you know, the title in which lies this post is how the bus has been rollin along for a little while. However, I am feeling much more like me as of late. I guess I grew up a bit. No, I know I did. That being stated so openly, I guess it's safe to say I am feeling better about my life in general. Now feeling good, can be a tricky thing, for when feeling good, some might get scared that those other feelings of doubt and hopelessness are just around the corner. Well I say, hey ho, let's go. I have decided in my life that the best thing you can do is take those feelings, feel em', and then, fucking let their dumb asses go. That shit will eat your ever loving heart out.
Maybe today I feel good. I think really though, it's about confidence. When I am feeling confident, I don't sweat the small stuff, and when you are exuding an air of confidence, people definitely sit up and take notice. So today, tomorrow, and the next day for sure, I am ready to roll, if you're down for it, then come along. If you're not, shut the fuck up, get the fuck out, I ain't got time for your bullshit.

"WELL, HOW DID I GET HERE?"

A good line to a great song, and the question that is ringing in my ears...