HOLIDAZE
Where do I begin? This season has literally been flying by, look at your window you can probably see it. The season got kicked off with a big ass bang at the Saphire's first ever faux Christmas party. I say faux because, can you really call it a Christmas party if you have no tree? No lights? No fat guy in a red suit? You tell me, please. Well anywho, the party was a big success and as always was the busiest from 2-4. I had a lot of fun, and I think everyone else did as well, except for maybe the guys we kicked out, but they had it coming. If I may borrow a line from one of my favorite movies, " Do you realize that it's snowing in my bedroom!?!" Yes, I did realize it, and my carpet paid the price. I'll see you with your steam cleaners. Well after that I headed to the beautiful pacific NW to spend the real Christmas with the fam. It was very chill, and I had a good time hanging out with everyone, and getting to know my niece Z better, we are birthday twins after all you know. I am still very fond of ol' Seattle, and I realized I don't know the next time I'll be back, but I know I will someday. I hope you all had a good holiday week and got all the CRAP you wanted. So now I'm back to the Aspen CRAP, yeehaw. It's good to see you kids that I have seen and this weekend should prove to be an ass whippin, since me and most folks I know are working all weekend. That's the only way to go if you ask me, I am not about to pay a $200 cover to go to the places I go to for free all the time, but if you are I hope you have the time of your life. In closing I would like to steal another line, " I get by with a little help from my friends" and Baby, I am a rich man for that fact alone. You know who are and I love you all and thank you for everything. In case I don't get a chance to post before Saturday, Happy New Year everyone, I for one am ready for this one to be over.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Here is the the latest from miss Huckleberry Tea. Enjoy
THE WAITING GAME
I spent the summer waiting for the other shoe to drop and it finally did. Be careful what you wait for.
I have been exceedingly hard on my heart lately and it is aching now. It is broken, I feel broken. And tired. I sat waiting for my knee’s sixth month check-up and had to laugh at how much has changed and changed again in a six months that has seen life fly and crawl by as I have hobbled, limped and walked in and out of this waiting room. My new ACL is better than the original but my knee is sore- it’s the screw, I’m screwed. They can remove it but that requires surgery, and well, post-surgery round one was a bit rough. Otherwise, spring’s injuries have healed splendidly, but fresh wounds of summer have taken their place.
I have always known that my life would not be ordinary. I don’t know what I am expecting, I just know that I am wild at heart and far from normal and my life won’t be normal either. And why am I referring to my life in future tense as if it is some thing that is going to happen one day? I am waiting for my life to start, expecting some magical thing to happen and set off the starter gun. But what am I waiting for?
This is the last thing that I want to admit, but I think that am waiting to be rescued. To be swept off of my feet and carried into my fairytale life. Or waiting at least for someone to come home to, stay up late talking with and snuggle into when I get cold or weary. But my life is happening right now, I can feel it pulsing through my wrist and pounding in my chest. This is my life, present tense, its happening and I am living it whether I notice or not. Look up princess, this is the fairytale. The white knight just rode off without me and its time to get off my fat throne, put on my glass stilettos and rescue myself.
Everyone but me seemed to know that I was headed toward inevitable heart ache. I’m not sure how many times people warned me about getting hurt as the summer progressed, but I heard it from everyone that I know and several people that I don’t. But I am me and decided that I’d take my chances, I just cannot walk away from head over heels, no matter the risk. Does being in love always have to mean living on the edge? I fell hard and have a soft heart, so I put a lot on the table. No regrets, it was my choice, my life; please keep your opinion to yourself. Besides somebody had to be the next person to break my heart. Stop, back up, wrong answer, self-pity just isn’t my style.
What about my knight? I am better for knowing him, better for loving him and better for losing him. I am sad and I miss my friend, but life and love continue. I will give my heart a break, but I will not follow our bears into hibernation. I still choose to see the best in people and I genuinely want the best for people, but I’ve learned that that road does not always go both ways. I will always be too trusting, but my eyes are a little less wide and a little more open. This is a small town, this is a tired subject and I am exhausted. But to whom it may ever concern, do not ever tell me that you want to “take a break,” it is called breaking up, breaking up, so please grow a pair and say it.
My life is not extraordinary. It is tremendously full, achingly vulnerable, so big and so small, it is unpredictable and beautiful and balances joyfully on the edge of longing and contentment. Ordinary it is not. And I am living it right now. This is the happily ever after. As for what may come?
I am hopelessly hopeful. So what am I waiting for?
THE WAITING GAME
I spent the summer waiting for the other shoe to drop and it finally did. Be careful what you wait for.
I have been exceedingly hard on my heart lately and it is aching now. It is broken, I feel broken. And tired. I sat waiting for my knee’s sixth month check-up and had to laugh at how much has changed and changed again in a six months that has seen life fly and crawl by as I have hobbled, limped and walked in and out of this waiting room. My new ACL is better than the original but my knee is sore- it’s the screw, I’m screwed. They can remove it but that requires surgery, and well, post-surgery round one was a bit rough. Otherwise, spring’s injuries have healed splendidly, but fresh wounds of summer have taken their place.
I have always known that my life would not be ordinary. I don’t know what I am expecting, I just know that I am wild at heart and far from normal and my life won’t be normal either. And why am I referring to my life in future tense as if it is some thing that is going to happen one day? I am waiting for my life to start, expecting some magical thing to happen and set off the starter gun. But what am I waiting for?
This is the last thing that I want to admit, but I think that am waiting to be rescued. To be swept off of my feet and carried into my fairytale life. Or waiting at least for someone to come home to, stay up late talking with and snuggle into when I get cold or weary. But my life is happening right now, I can feel it pulsing through my wrist and pounding in my chest. This is my life, present tense, its happening and I am living it whether I notice or not. Look up princess, this is the fairytale. The white knight just rode off without me and its time to get off my fat throne, put on my glass stilettos and rescue myself.
Everyone but me seemed to know that I was headed toward inevitable heart ache. I’m not sure how many times people warned me about getting hurt as the summer progressed, but I heard it from everyone that I know and several people that I don’t. But I am me and decided that I’d take my chances, I just cannot walk away from head over heels, no matter the risk. Does being in love always have to mean living on the edge? I fell hard and have a soft heart, so I put a lot on the table. No regrets, it was my choice, my life; please keep your opinion to yourself. Besides somebody had to be the next person to break my heart. Stop, back up, wrong answer, self-pity just isn’t my style.
What about my knight? I am better for knowing him, better for loving him and better for losing him. I am sad and I miss my friend, but life and love continue. I will give my heart a break, but I will not follow our bears into hibernation. I still choose to see the best in people and I genuinely want the best for people, but I’ve learned that that road does not always go both ways. I will always be too trusting, but my eyes are a little less wide and a little more open. This is a small town, this is a tired subject and I am exhausted. But to whom it may ever concern, do not ever tell me that you want to “take a break,” it is called breaking up, breaking up, so please grow a pair and say it.
My life is not extraordinary. It is tremendously full, achingly vulnerable, so big and so small, it is unpredictable and beautiful and balances joyfully on the edge of longing and contentment. Ordinary it is not. And I am living it right now. This is the happily ever after. As for what may come?
I am hopelessly hopeful. So what am I waiting for?
Monday, December 05, 2005
I'M MR. BRIGHTSIDE
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Those are the words to a great song that are ringing so true it hurts. Let me say to all and you, I'm an idiot. I acted the fool last night and I don't know why. Maybe because I was a bit inebriated, but that's not really an excuse. I suppose I need to work on being the cool guy or some shit. I 'm pretty sure I screwed it all up, and that sucks because I have a lot of fun with you. You know I'm probably more like you than you think. I am timid about it as well. I don't know where I want it to go, I just know that I always enjoy myself when in your company, and it feels very natural. So if I totally effed the situation, I apologize. I know your a bit reluctant, and for reals so am I. I've been through a bunch of shit as I know you have as well. I try to play the game, but I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so sometimes it really clouds my judgment. I know that I 'm not playing the game correctly when that happens, but you know that's the only way I know to play. If following my heart gets me into trouble, so be it. I would rather leave my heart open and have it get hurt sometimes, than be closed off to it. So here I am, heart on sleeve, a bit bruised, but alright. It's not all the way nice, and it's my fault. I know that much for sure. So for what it's worth, I still think your great, and your smile is not too bad either.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Those are the words to a great song that are ringing so true it hurts. Let me say to all and you, I'm an idiot. I acted the fool last night and I don't know why. Maybe because I was a bit inebriated, but that's not really an excuse. I suppose I need to work on being the cool guy or some shit. I 'm pretty sure I screwed it all up, and that sucks because I have a lot of fun with you. You know I'm probably more like you than you think. I am timid about it as well. I don't know where I want it to go, I just know that I always enjoy myself when in your company, and it feels very natural. So if I totally effed the situation, I apologize. I know your a bit reluctant, and for reals so am I. I've been through a bunch of shit as I know you have as well. I try to play the game, but I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so sometimes it really clouds my judgment. I know that I 'm not playing the game correctly when that happens, but you know that's the only way I know to play. If following my heart gets me into trouble, so be it. I would rather leave my heart open and have it get hurt sometimes, than be closed off to it. So here I am, heart on sleeve, a bit bruised, but alright. It's not all the way nice, and it's my fault. I know that much for sure. So for what it's worth, I still think your great, and your smile is not too bad either.
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