Here is the the latest from miss Huckleberry Tea. Enjoy

THE WAITING GAME
I spent the summer waiting for the other shoe to drop and it finally did. Be careful what you wait for.

I have been exceedingly hard on my heart lately and it is aching now. It is broken, I feel broken. And tired. I sat waiting for my knee’s sixth month check-up and had to laugh at how much has changed and changed again in a six months that has seen life fly and crawl by as I have hobbled, limped and walked in and out of this waiting room. My new ACL is better than the original but my knee is sore- it’s the screw, I’m screwed. They can remove it but that requires surgery, and well, post-surgery round one was a bit rough. Otherwise, spring’s injuries have healed splendidly, but fresh wounds of summer have taken their place.

I have always known that my life would not be ordinary. I don’t know what I am expecting, I just know that I am wild at heart and far from normal and my life won’t be normal either. And why am I referring to my life in future tense as if it is some thing that is going to happen one day? I am waiting for my life to start, expecting some magical thing to happen and set off the starter gun. But what am I waiting for?

This is the last thing that I want to admit, but I think that am waiting to be rescued. To be swept off of my feet and carried into my fairytale life. Or waiting at least for someone to come home to, stay up late talking with and snuggle into when I get cold or weary. But my life is happening right now, I can feel it pulsing through my wrist and pounding in my chest. This is my life, present tense, its happening and I am living it whether I notice or not. Look up princess, this is the fairytale. The white knight just rode off without me and its time to get off my fat throne, put on my glass stilettos and rescue myself.

Everyone but me seemed to know that I was headed toward inevitable heart ache. I’m not sure how many times people warned me about getting hurt as the summer progressed, but I heard it from everyone that I know and several people that I don’t. But I am me and decided that I’d take my chances, I just cannot walk away from head over heels, no matter the risk. Does being in love always have to mean living on the edge? I fell hard and have a soft heart, so I put a lot on the table. No regrets, it was my choice, my life; please keep your opinion to yourself. Besides somebody had to be the next person to break my heart. Stop, back up, wrong answer, self-pity just isn’t my style.

What about my knight? I am better for knowing him, better for loving him and better for losing him. I am sad and I miss my friend, but life and love continue. I will give my heart a break, but I will not follow our bears into hibernation. I still choose to see the best in people and I genuinely want the best for people, but I’ve learned that that road does not always go both ways. I will always be too trusting, but my eyes are a little less wide and a little more open. This is a small town, this is a tired subject and I am exhausted. But to whom it may ever concern, do not ever tell me that you want to “take a break,” it is called breaking up, breaking up, so please grow a pair and say it.

My life is not extraordinary. It is tremendously full, achingly vulnerable, so big and so small, it is unpredictable and beautiful and balances joyfully on the edge of longing and contentment. Ordinary it is not. And I am living it right now. This is the happily ever after. As for what may come?

I am hopelessly hopeful. So what am I waiting for?