JEFF & JEN 05.17.08

TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE

I think it's time, well actually it has been time for quite some time, does even make sense? Actually, no, it doesn't, I believe that my trepidation for changes, has been that I enjoy coming up with new seemingly logical ways to dispel
myself. Drrrrrrr. If that's offensive to you then, slap yourself, repeatedly, in the chest, whilst trying to bite your ear. Get it? Got it? Good. Now back to me.

I spose what LiWe was sayin last night, rings rather true. I can put up with crap for a nice piece of pie. I put up with some really CRAPPY crap for a shitty piece of pie right now. What's the difference? My morals? HA! Look at what I currently do for a living. Is that really waving my moral banner? If I am, I'm sorry, but you should start slapping me, given the first opportunity.

I can still covvet my MAC when I get home, we can have unabated sensual moments, her silver skin, touched to my pinkness, oh jeebus. I need help...

A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Yet another monday morning for me that is not all that well. First off my accountant needs to be fired. My finances are a mess due to a mishap with a birthday card. Oh the domino effect. Oh well, I'll make it work, somehow.

Ok let me just say I am hell of jelly today for my two favorite bitches took the day off and are playing at Red Rocks. No invite! WTF? You know I would have called in sick. Oh well, I guess you needed your alone time.

Ok, poor me, yeah, I know. Well, fuck off. No one is making you read this.

AND THEY CALL IT PUPPY LOVE

Last night was like a throwback to the days of yore, with a twist. The beautiful Ms. LiWe and I had some wonderful Pho at the newest noodle house in the county before heading over to the Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour screening at the university. On the drive over, we enjoyed some tasty brownie's that old Lop Ear had prepared for his mending leg, just days before. MMM, brownies. After the screening of the best of the best of the film fest (which was quite good), we stopped by an old school American haunt, that we had not previously been to before. Where do you find the best fries and Coca-Cola products, and a cheap hot fudge sundae? That's right Mickey D's! I found it funny that we had never been to the old arches together til now, but it was so reminiscent of the campy old tradition of Mickey D's and movies, that we just had to do it right.
We had a medium fries, a hot fudge sundae and a large Coca-Cola, complete with double sippin' straws...

THEY JUST DON'T MAKE EM' LIKE THEY USED TO…

Genesis - Land of Confusion

MY 8 BIT FRIENDS!
Well these critters sure got me going today, it's my birthday, holler, don't stop...

STYROFOAM

Well, There's nothing on TV
That will warm up your feet
As you gather your ribbons
And declare your retreat

As your shadow chases you
Mine chases me
And your sugar, and stamps, and alcohol
Hang high from a tree

Singin' Hey, remember me
I'm the one who stood up your backbone
Hey, 1, 2, 3
What will it take
For you to break, our styrofoam?

Well I hit up a high note
And asked you what do you think?
You tell me to go wash my mouth out
Away, in the sink
And perhaps I'm just not built for singing
Perhaps I'm just not built for sound

Well I'm singing Hey, look at me
I'm the one designing your clothes
Hey, What about me?
And all that I hate
I wish it'd break , like styrofoam

And, I dug at your cavity,
I fill it with gold
Because it's caps again
Back to me
And the talk it's gets old, it gets old

Hey, wait for me
I'm the one walking your slope
Hey, you wait and see
Cause it'd be great, if you'd just break
If you'd just beak
Like styrofoam

THE KING OF CARROT FLOWERS, PT. 1

When you were young
You were the king of carrot flowers
And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees
In holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet

And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy's shoulder
And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor
As we would lay and learn what each other's bodies were for

And this is the room
One afternoon I knew I could love you
And from above you how I sank into your soul
Into that secret place where no one dares to go

And your mom would drink until she was no longer speaking
And dad would dream of all the different ways to die
Each one a little more than he could dare to try

IN THE AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me

What a curious life we have found here tonight
There is music that sounds from the street
There are lights in the clouds
Anne's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees

Now how I remember you
How I would push my fingers through
Your mouth to make those muscles move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet on a cloud
I'll be laughing out loud
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

THIS AIN'T NO FOOLIN' AROUND

That's right. I am serious, well, mostly. This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, but my camera's back now. Here's some fun from today.

IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES
I hope that doesn't mean the worst of times are around the corner. Well let me just say that I had a great weekend with the lady I love. We were laughing, talking, kissing, and visiting Argentina, wow, soooo good! I love this girl with all my heart, and things seem to be getting much better. I hope this trend continues, and that we're able to keep this honey moon going. I don't think it will be too difficult. So here's to you and here's to me, bff's we shall always be.

w00t! w00t!

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

As the day approaches my heart grows warmer, and yet still a bit melancholy. I can't help but smile when I here Judy Garland's haunting version of the the song. It struck a particular chord with me this year, and in a minute you'll know just why. Here are Judy's lyrics to this Christmas classic. Try and hold back your tears. Bid, this one's for you.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be
out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yule-tide gay
Next year all our troubles will be
miles away
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of your
Faithful friends who were near to us
Will be dear to us once more
Someday soon, we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

MONDAZED
Well hello to all who are reading this, haha, that's nobody! Anywho, I just wanted to say that I am in a good mood today, and have figured some things out in my head. I realize the WATCHDOG group and the FDA still have yet to reconvene, but that's ok. Somebody once told me that absence make the heart grow fonder. I agree with that person whole-heartedly. It sure does for me, and I hope it does for her too.
I had a great weekend catching up with some old friends, and making some new ones, well just one actually. Good times were had by all, but sadly, they are never long enough. It's always good for me to speak with some oldies but goodies for they remind me of who I am, and what I want. I am ME, I want YOU. That's pretty well known though, so albeit, I want IT, if I don't get IT, I am going to be ok. A wittle sad, but hey, who isn't these days...

FDA & WATCHDOG GROUP REACH CONCLUSION (SORT OF)

In yesterdays post I mentioned that there were going to be some talks last night. The talks were going to address the Cosmic Connection's® shelf life and see what could be done to preserve/destroy it.
Both sides brought up valid and true points, but no final decision could be reached. Deciding not to be locked in to a total stalemate, both parties agreed that the "connection" would be removed from the shelves for a period of one week so that it could be thoroughly examined.
After the week long examination both parties agreed to reconvene with both of their findings to present to one another. The parties also expressed interest in coming to a final conclusion at the next meeting, loosely scheduled for late next week.

WELL...
It's come to this. It's time to make-up or break-up. I hope it's not the latter, but I kind of think it will be. I am going to talk it out tonight with my girl, so we'll see. Here's to being wrong. I have felt like this was coming, I just wish it didn't have to come like this. How's that you say? Well, I 'm not going to say. Let's just say there's been some pulling away on her part , and some withdrawing on my part. It has always seemed as if there was a shelf life to this whole thing, I hope it's not expired yet. I will undoubtedly be posting about what happens tonight. I know it will be for the best, no matter the outcome. It's just sad to see the magic fade away, because it makes me wonder if it was really there at all. I think it was, but I'm not the only one in the mix. I believe in magic, especially romantically. I guess we'll see if I am just a hopeless romantic, or if it there really is a little bit of magic in that old black hat. Oh the holidays...

AND IT'S CONTAGIOUS... REGINA SPEKTOR 10.30.07

The stage at the Wiltern was dressed as if you had just stumbled into the theater after a large rock concert. There were various disco balls that lay deflated from their former glory sparkling high above the stage. There were paper bits strewn about the stage and a few musical instruments. There was a mint green hollow body guitar, and baby, that piano was grand.
You may have been upset that you missed the show, but to your surprise you found a quirky girl tapping the ivory, and so, you decide to stay, and honey, you're glad you did because what the rock n roll show would have done to your soul could not hold a candle to what ms.Regina did to it instead. That girl, that woman, the lady Regina...

Gasp, sigh...

Amazing doesn't really describe what I experienced. I had never been in such close proximity to such an amazing artist before. The stage presence from this cute little girl would take anyone down. I had never seen anyone own it, like that. Here's this little girl, so cute, so talented, so smart, and all, so effortless. To walk out on stage armed only with your piano, your voice, and your smile, has got to be extremely nerve racking. If it was for Regina, I would have never known.

Own it, check. Bring the house down, check. Bring a tear to your eye, check. Make you laugh, check. Make you feel like you were witnessing a moment in time that will never be duplicated, check.

I cannot say enough good things about the girl. America this is your daughter. It's evolution. It's the confluence of jazz, rock, and all great things American, musically. It's time for Regina. I am overjoyed to be able to say that I saw her when she was young. Surely she will be the biggest star in the world. How can this perfection not be? Not only is she the greatest thing musically, ever, she's got a great social commentary to boot. I can't get over it. I'm still smiling, beaming and annoying the CRAP out of my coworkers,I think I have played the only album I currently have, at least three, possibly four times today, oh and it's on again.

If you haven't heard of her, listen. If you haven't seen her, look. If you don't like her, kill yourself, cause you suck and that's sad. It's not even a stretch to say, that was the best show of my life last night, and I am no stranger to the show. The sirens song had me in tears within ten minutes, and it wasn't because it was reminding me of some sad or depressing time. It was because I couldn't smile any bigger. I could not laugh any harder, and I could not have had my heart filled with any more joy than I experienced at the Wiltern just last night. It was magic. It was the stuff dreams are made of.

To end the show, she took three bows to the crowd and exclaimed, "I'm so happy"
The joy flowed from my eyes, and for a moment in time, everything was fine. All was well, and it seemed the joy I was feeling was not lost on me. You couldn't escape it in the room, it truly was contagious, Regina herself could not escape. Thank you ms.Spektor, thank you.

EMERGE
Last night I could not get that word out of my head. It was like the lights were turned on, finally. Perhaps the lights have been on, but I was so afraid to see what was there, I just couldn't allow myself to look. I had intentionally been numbing myself, so that I couldn't see at all. I can't believe it took me this long to wake up, but hey, I am now awake, a bit groggy, but awake. It's amazing the CRAP that you see once you finally allow yourself to take a look around the place you call your life.

I have been screwing up , left, right, forwards, backwards and any other way you can think of. I knew I was doing it, but I was kidding myself by thinking it would all just magically be ok. I have been pushing those I love away, and that hurts me the worst. The one I have pushed away the most, is in fact the one that I love the most. There is no way to express the regret that I feel for the childish ways I have acted towards this person. I cannot believe that they still, despite all my efforts, love me. It was this kind of unconditional love that really helped me to awake.

I finally feel that mentally, I am in a good place. That being said, I feel that I have tangled a lot of things up, and it will take some time and patience to get them untangled, but that's ok. It's kind of like the long winter is over, and the first rites of spring are here. I know I have said I have been here before,but I hadn't believed it until now.

I think that is the all important ingredient. Belief. I had not, until this point, actually believed that I could do this. I didn't think I had the strength inside me. It's funny to me that I needed someone else to see it in me, to believe it myself. It's not funny I guess, at all.

You know who you are. You know what I mean, and I am so happy to have the opportunity to give back to you what you have given to me. I may not ever be able to repay you fully, but I'll live the rest of my precious time with you to make sure that I am doing everything I can to make you really feel it, but not too much, I wouldn't want you to feel any pressure...

THREE'S AND NINE'S @ SOHO 10.02.07

Here's a slideshow of the show. The lighting was low, and I don't like the flash, so I experiemented with different camera situations and here are the results. Enjoy! if you haven't heard them already listen here:
http://www.myspace.com/threesandnines

PRESSURE & PROXIMITY
Two words that hold much meaning these days. I think they are closely related and worlds apart. A paradox, a conundrum, a snafu. Where does it start, where does it end? Is it too heavy, or treading too lightly? Is there too much speak, and not enough silence?

I love to ask questions when I know no one has the answers, and there is no way of figuring them out. Perhaps that's my own pressure. I know only I can answer these questions for myself, so that's the proximity effect. Hmmm, pressure and proximity. Sounds like a breakfast cereal, I think I had one bowl too many...