IT MAY BE COLD OUTSIDE, BUT AT LEAST I'M WEARING A FUZZY SWEATER.

It's been months since my last post, and man, they have been some months. I'm not dead, so I guess as it would have it, I have emerged stronger, figuratively. I'll just say that for one, I was not at all sad to see the 09 fall forever into the books of history, however tarnished the writing on the pages had become. This is not a place where I will rehash those pages, for if you really want to know you can inquire within after a merry evening and I've got a belly full of wine. Til then, so sorry.

I know the major difference between now and last year. I know why I am feeling things will be different. To everything, there is an end. Perhaps it's the end of the season, the game, the fries. To everything there is an end. This is the world we live in. Last year was the end of the "first part" or "Act 1" of my life. The curtain has come down, the players have hurried to the dressing rooms, and the lights have gone dim.

I rather enjoyed Act 1, it was full of life. It had it's ups and downs, highs and low's and it sure was fucking beautiful. I wonder how Act 2 will begin? I wonder what surprises lay in wait? Perhaps it's all happening. It's all right around the corner. I guess the only thing to do is wait, or better yet, run. Run towards the light. Grasp at it with all you have.

This play is me, and me will surely play.

THESE THINGS I KNOW

Absolutely, positively, maybe. It's here again, and that's the good thing. The horrible thing is that it's here now, at this moment. Perhaps it's always my clock that says it's not the right time, for if it's always not the right time, it must be that I am wrong and it actually IS the right time. What is the right time anyhow? What does that mean? Who decides? Whoever does, check with me next time, please.

I can hold her hand and show her how I cry. Explain to her my weakness so she understands, then roll over and die. I'd rather not. I'd rather just go for it. Tell the world, tell the girl. It's one in the same really. Surely that spark is not spent on I alone. Surely she is feeling a small smidgin of what I am feeling. Surely.

Who knows these things for sure? Nobody does, so anytime you hear me say surely, you must know that I am joking. There is no surely. No sure thing. Nada. Nothing of the sort. These things I do not know.

It's these things I know. I know how I feel and why I feel that way. I know that how I am feeling makes me act in a certain way when with her. I know that my light is fully lit when I look into her eyes. I know those flutters in my belly are not a direct cause of hunger. I know how soft her mouth tastes. How great her grin is. How immediately infectious her laughter can be. I know how deliciously witty she be. I know that I, yes it's true, am in total, complete, 100% LIKE with this beauty.

This is the best feeling I have had in awhile, so like I say, sit down, shut-up, hold on, and smile. The rest is yet to be written...

JUST BE GENTLE WITH ME

What is it about fucking Tuesdays?

MY HAPPY PLACE

Today I have returned to my happy place. It exists solely in the reaches of my mind, and this I know. I should try to get here more often, but hey, I am here today, so today is the day I shall pontificate about it. My happy place consists of giggles, grins, a bit of pep in the step and of course the laughter and love that is all around me.

"I'm not afraid of a love parade in my daydream."

Oh how I love this place! It holds endless possibilities. It's fun! It's amazing, it's gritty and it's pretty. Do you ever feel like there's so much beauty that your head just might pop off? Even if it does, whatever, I am sure that will be thrilling in it's own right.

I truly hope that you can feel my smile through this post, for I am trying my earnest for you to grab a little piece of it and spread it around.

Share the love.

Be the love.

I love you.

LOVE, IS DEAD.

I regret to inform all you hapless souls who have lost, turned down, cheated, or never found LOVE, but, that bitch is dead.
Don't worry, you're in good company.

LOVE was found floating face up at the Lilliputian pool in her condo by the incessant highway late Sunday. Foul play has been ruled out at this point, but key undisclosed sources tell us that there is in fact a suspect. HATE is thought to blame, but like we said, no official word just yet. LOVE enjoyed a somewhat bittersweet life for all her accomplishments. She often ran into her folly, which as has been well documented by various news outlets and purported sources, such as this one. She is survived by three daughters: HOPE, CHARITY, and GRACE. The names and places of the grandchildren have been omitted for "SAFE's Sake"

Additional sources tell us HATE was last seen drinking whiskey at the broken spoke late Saturday. The residence where the body of LOVE was found is within a close approximation to the spoke, and though HATE has not been charged, he is nowhere to be found.

A funeral has been scheduled for Thursday afternoon at the Sunny Brooke cemetery. Flowers can be sent, but the family has asked that you respect's LOVE's wishes that the be kept modest. The service will undoubtedly be humble.

Details to come.

FOR THOSE WHO JUST DO NOT KNOW

Tonight as I lay in bed discovering a newness in myself, the sparrow returned to me. It's strange to me how I knew that the touch that I saw in the sparrow would surely come with her tonight. It did, and I must say it's more beautiful than I imagined. I am not sure why I am drawn to this sorrow, but I know that perhaps it's the recognition of what's inside of yours truly. Is it my ego, or is it at the heart of it? I am not sure, but certain things have caused me to start to believe in a shift of this conscience. I feel that things are just how they should be. For the moment anyhow.

This sparrow was at her most vulnerable tonight as I have seen. I cannot fully express to this lovely bird how much I know what she is feeling, and that it is ok with me. There is no judgement here, and should hopefully feel comfortable here with me. Get close to me. Tell me what you are afraid of. Try and break my heart. I dare you. I am not looking for punishment, for I don't think this sparrow realizes how deep my heart is, and how badly it's been beaten before. The way in which it exists today is a wiser, bigger, and more understanding piece of anatomy. I feel it growing daily, and the best part of this is, that growth is for everyone.

I do believe that things are happening for a reason, yet I am smart enough to know that I will most likely never know said reason.
My part is to know that things are happening all around me, and the best thing I can do is try and smile. It was the sparrow that most recently reminded me of this, and for that I will be forever grateful. I am here for you. I feel more natural with you than I believe I have ever felt, and that's just a good sign that we will become great friends.

As I let the sparrow return to flight I saw something undiscovered before. There is a new light in her eyes. She really looked at me tonight. She did not hide behind that gregarious grin. It was a beautiful moment, if only for an instance. It's here I shall stay until the sparrow's flight returns...

IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE. by Kris Kristofferson

If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine

No ma'm I know this ain't all that you've ever been used to

You with your rings on your fingers and time on your hands

Sometimes it's nice to have somebody nice to be close to


Lord, knows I've been there before you and I understand

If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine



I wish that I was the answer to all of your questions

God knows I know you wish you were the answer to mine

Darling if you ain't a thing but a change in direction

Lord knows I'd know you'd be somethin' I'm lucky to find



If you're feeling salty,then I'm your tequila

If you've got the freedom I've got the time

There ain't nothing sweeter than naked emotions

So you show me yours, hon, and I'll show you mine

If you show me yours hon, I'll show you mine.

OH THE WIND AND RAIN

It gets me every time. It causes my heart to swell. It wants to burst with beauty. What is it about the rain? I am not sure exactly, I think it makes me think of snuggling up with someone who loves the rain and the snugs just as well. The soft sounds. The warm caress. The touch of the lips. Oh how I love rainy days. They are magical to me as are quite a few things in this life. Yes I believe in magic, not the pull the rabbit out of hat kind, but the serendipitous type. The magic that makes you smile. Makes you laugh, and makes your eyes well up with tears for occasionally the world can be so beautiful that you just can't take it anymore. You have to release your own rain. Let it rain down upon me. Today I can feel the magic. I can see it even. It glows and shines bright, but you have to allow your self to see it. It's like an aura of things. A little spark or a glimmer in the dark. If you can open your eyes wide enough to see it, get ready. It's sometimes overwhelming, so let it flow through you. Allow it to lift your spirits to the highest heights, and when you get to the big puddle, jump in. It's only the excess flow of magic that has collected on the ground. Take a sip, and let yourself slip away...

An oldie, but a goodie.

HELLO, ARE YOU MY LIGHT?

If you read this, which I am sure you probably do not, but just in case, then you would have seen a few posts ago that I am looking for a light that shines. If you don't read this, I mean, why would you? then leave the site, immediately. Anywho, the other day I found a spark. Actually, at first I was blinded with inebriation at that one party where I awoke in my car, but hey at least I was IN the car. I awoke the next morning to remember that there was a definite encounter. A sly fox had led me by the hand to somewhere, and I knew I had a most titilating conversation with her.

Who was she?

What did we speak of?

It eludes me, all day. Suddenly, a flash. Brown hair! Actually I believe I knew this all along. How on earth would I find this spark that I most certainly saw in the dark. Investigate. That's how. I could not return to the scene of the incident for I could not remember where it was. I did have some background on the girl though, I think I know where she works. That's the ticket, show up and see if a brunette recognizes you.

Slowly I climbed the stairs, first the top of the head, the forehead, the eyes, and what a pretty face, could this be her? Is this soulful vixen the very one I seek?
She looks right through me, guess not.

"Hello sir, how are you? Table for one?" she softly says. "Just the bar" I mutter, most definitely not her, I mean surely she would have remembered me. I slink into my seat and order up something cold and wet. I sniff around a bit, looking for the bronze beauty I may have well created in my head. Nowhere to be found. I sit back and try to reach the drunken depths of my cerebellum. Still nothing.

Such an elusive one, perhaps that's why it's so titillating.

Ah yes, there's that degenerate JohnWayne. Maybe he'll have the 411.
Who is she?

She's right up front. She walked you in.

Stunned I see her again, and something goes off in my head. "That is her!" I think to myself. Wow, I am amazed. Such a pretty girl, such a gregarious smile. Why did she not remember me? Did I make a terrible impression? Did she recall me and just not want to go any further in conversation? Hmmmm...

I sit.

Pretty soon she comes and sits at the bar when she's off with a friend. I remember him too. Perhaps they're lovers.
He sees me and invites me to join them. I walk over. I speak directly to her.

"Didn't I meet you yesterday?"

"Oh yes!, That IS you! Sorry I was drunk, and you looked familiar, but I wasn't sure."

"Not a problem, I myself was rather intoxicated and was not sure if it was you either."

Later that evening, we sit alone at the bar.

I ask if I can call her.

"Anytime" she says...

ALLIE dog COOK 1996-2009

The one known to many as a good girl, a bad girl, a slippy girl, but always a faithful girl has left us and gone to dog heaven. She was my best friend, my most trusted confidant, and truly my life's greatest love. It's as if an era has ended. Things are definitely different now. When I walk through the door, I still look for the wagging tail, the sleepy eyes, and the softest ears I have ever had the pleasure of kissing.

Many knew her, and most loved her. She and I had some great adventures, and she will always be remembered by the many who got the chance to meet, hang out with, and pet her. She changed my definition of the word "she" as she always had my heart and her love was never ceasing. Although it's a cliche, she was my best friend, and the one I looked to most in times of trouble, sadness, and always when I was my most happiest. I love this girl with all my heart, and that love will never fade. Still as I think of her, I get a little misty. She was my girl. Although I can no longer seek her counsel, I know she is still with me in spirit. She will always live in my heart, as well as many others.

She passed peacefully with me stroking her precious little head. She was strong til the end, and if you knew her, you would expect nothing less. My friends, it is just me now, and I miss her terribly. I know she is in a better place chasing squirrels and making others smile wherever she is. Please raise a glass and remember the Allie dog if it suits you. Thank you.

To quote a good friend, "She's the only bitch that loved you as much as you loved her."

Rest in peace my love, you were always on my mind.

-Dave

THERE ARE FADED LIGHTS AND LIGHTS THAT FADE

However, I look for a light that shines. It bursts with color, it is color. It's the very essence of the spellbinding aura that I long for. I want it so much, it seems so close yet kind of improbable. Therein lies the predicament. The only thing you can really do, is keep your eyes as open as you possibly can, and when you see the spark, follow the glimmer into the dark...

WHO IS CHARLOTTE MITTNACHT, AND WHERE CAN I FIND HER?

I FOUND MY MUSIC

I love all types of music, and am always listening to my eclectic mess that I own, but today I couldn't find the right fit. I wanted something gritty and beautiful for a good friend reminded me that's pretty much how life is. I had a thought, the song I thought could do it, could do it, and let me tell you, it doesn't get any more pretty, and gritty as this. Ladies and Gentlemen may I present, my song for today, and today was a strange one.

"Everything Is" by Neutral Milk Hotel

Growing sleepy as the rain falls
As children draped in flowers form a chain
They sing a song with jelly jars and bird calls
As night falls into dust and it's day again

I'm not afraid of a love parade in my daydream
Old men with kazoos and beating drums
But I awake and I see the streets are ice cream
It's just you and me and oh dear, our life has just begun

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading

Oh beautiful smiles, won't you stay awhile
We could close the door and sleep all day
It's a September sky with pretty pictures in my mind
That's lost its feeling of so afraid

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading

Grown sleepy now as the rain falls
As children draped in flowers form a chain
They sing a song with jelly jars and bird calls
As night falls into dust and it's day again

Everything is beautiful here
It's spinning circles around my ears
I'm finally breaking free from fear
And it's fading


The true beauty of this song is to listen to it's crunchy loud grit, sung with sentiment and those super sweet lyrics. Call me if you want a private listening.

ITCHY & SCRATCHY

I guess that's the game, maybe that's always the game. Whatever it is - I like it. This is fun. It's the kind of thing that makes me better. I must consider it all. How could I not? Things can certainly turn on a dime, and while the turn may have been a shocking one, the road remains easy, calm and straight ahead. Is it really possible to have created this thing? I do believe I create my own destiny, so there's my answer. Somedays you just have to go with it, and it let it flow through you. Is it mere coincidence that the very day I bought those brand new shoes, the slinky one oozed a little more out of her shell? It is like the new green adidas that I am so taken with. Please, allow me to explain.

One sunny day you take yourself out. You feel good. Everything is pleasant. There's a want, a need and a desire. I need some new pants, I want some new shoes, and desire something that has the most effervescent sparkle. Long, beautiful story, it was a time when I had it all. It's really an amazing feeling to have your needs, wants, and desires all met on the same day. It's slightly overwhelming, but that's the stuff. When it gets to be too much, just breathe. Exhales almost consistently retain some sort of acceptance.

The funny thing is that in all "normal" circumstances, I would be considered the cat and the mouse be the slinky one. Can slinky befit a mouse more than a cat? Hell no. It comes to me now that I knew this would be the case all along and it's what I wanted. It's working. It's amazing. Chasing this felonic friend will undoubtedly be exciting and fun. All things being equal, I guess that I am Itchy. I always knew I liked that furry little rodent, and I think Scratchy likes it too.

SPLENDID SERENDIPITY

I am absolutely amazed at what has taken place in the last two weeks. It keeps getting better every hour we spend together. Talk. Yes, talk! It's the best thing about it all. I feel like we could talk and talk forever. I think we talked until we passed out just last night. The talk is the truth. It is so real, so refreshing, so unfiltered, and instantly intoxicating. The beauty is in the pact that has brought us together. I can and do say anything to this woman. This is something I have always wanted. I thought it was seemingly impossible to find, for everyone has got their shit, their own agenda, and their own insecurities that usually prevent this kind of thing from happening.

It's all happening.

It is ALL happening!

This makes me giddy like a school girl.

Take my ever loving breath away. There's a rap on the door, a slight pause, and the slinky one appears. I wonder if she has got any inkling about how much she does sparkle? Lighting up a room doesn't cut it. Lighting up my life is more like it. Girl, you have got so much presence - everywhere we go you are the only one I can see. Small in stature maybe, but that is where the smallness ends. It does not define you. It's simply what you have to work with, and work it, you do.

Once again my face catches me smiling, beaming those gastronomic butterflies out into the world where they belong...

FOR THE EXPLORERS

I don’t know where sunbeams end, and moonbeams begin, it’s all a mystery. Like many things in life mysteries can often be explored, however you have to be willing to accept the findings when said mysteries are brought to the surface. This can be a tricky and difficult thing. I would rather know than always wonder though, so, there’s that. It just is. What is it? Well, not what I wanted it to be, but perhaps like Mick said, sometimes you get what you need. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the explorers that will delve in to the depths of the heart, for that’s the only way to go to really know. What can be said is that it’s nice to know, albeit knowing can sting a awful lot. So now I know, and I have made what I believe will be a fantastic friend. I suppose that’s what I ultimately wanted anyhow, however it would have been nice to have a taste for I am certain it’s sweeter than it appears. Oh well...

SMOKE EM' IF YOU GOT EM'

A rather slinky friend recently reminded me of something good. It's almost official, I think this may take. Yay.

I'M AMAZED

So that one, yes, that one! She is the bees knees. She's worth it. She's got it, and I have no idea what she'll do with it, but that's the fun part. At this point I can't do anything but just be honest with the lissome lady. Now she knows how I feel, and although I said I would not scare her, I just may have tugged the curtain a bit too far. Fuck it. That's the only way to do it. After all, we have a pact. As silly as it seems, it also masquerades as making perfect sense. Easy, breezy and beautiful. The lights on 6th made my jolly jump and jitter, and this feels so fresh, that I am not even sure who I want to be anymore. I mean she makes me think, and consider everything. I am fumbling with my words and I get weak in the knees when I am around her. She knows it too, and maybe that's the attraction for her. I don't know for sure, but I will keep on with the chase. She's so sinuous, I must. The best part of the whole thing is that I got the chance I thought I might not ever get. Just to have that chance, and go with it, is fabulous. Not as fabulous as her, but we'll just have to see about that.

THE BITCH, IS BACK.

There's only one. The only one. The one I desire. The one who smells so sweetly...
mostly. Ladies and gentlemen it is with great pleasure that I announce the festivities for the one someone calls the slip. Allie dog® only turns 13 once, or perhaps twice, but, there's only one party, and it's coming to your town.